Monday, January 18, 2016

Now that I have crossed the sands.........What's Next???

So you finally became a member of your dream sorority/fraternity. You are on cloud nine! You feel like a celebrity with everyone on social media congratulating you. People who you don't even know, now know you. They know you by name. Now, what??? What are the next steps?

Well, first I would tell you to enjoy being fresh off the sands. You are Geeked about your coming out show (Some refer to it as NIP, New Initiate Presentation). Your hair is on fleek, you all look fabulous in your outfits together, you have rehearsed and perfected the show. You can't wait to reveal yourself to your campus/community.  You earned it! You deserve it.  This is your time! Enjoy it!
How do you balance work and fun? Can you have both? Of course, you can! When I first became a Delta, I was a nerd regarding wanting to know EVERYTHING there is to know about Delta Sigma Theta Sorority Inc. I read our ritual, page by page, cover to cover as if it was a juicy Zane novel. I wanted to find out everything about the founders, the organization, the history, etc. Sure I learned a lot when I was going through the membership intake process, but I wanted to know MORE!  I wanted to be knowledgeable before I attended my first "official" Delta meeting.

Look I get it, you're excited, passionate, you want to learn everything. You also wish to join every single committee, run for an office, and get your hands dirty.  No shame in that. I was that girl. My first year, I was on several committees, the chapter president, participated in every step show, became the step-master, and on TOP of that, I had school and a part time job. I was a bit overwhelmed but loved every minute of it.

My best advice? Take it slow. Only YOU know how much you can handle. Remember that membership in these organizations is a lifetime commitment, so there is no rush to join every committee under the sun all at once. Especially as a neophyte. Don't get me wrong, I am not telling you to get involved, but don't overwhelm yourself. The one thing that I have seen from other neophytes from various organizations including mine is they joining every committee and within five years, they are burnt out. Brace yourself. Sign up for a committee or two. Make sure the committee you DO sign up for is one that you would enjoy doing. Case in point, if you love planning, then fundraising might be your thing. Have a lot of ideas for community service? Bingo! Do you love meeting and working with people? Membership would be perfect for you.

Congratulations on your membership. Don't overextend yourself, you have a lifetime to make a difference.


  1. Hi I have been reading your posts over the past year and I have got to say you are a wonderful writer. I am not a D9 member but I did cross Sigma Alpha Iota at my HBCU. It's funny how your posts still relate to organizations like mine. But on another note I have an honest question. Do sororities have emergency lines?

  2. I am still enjoying the Neophyte stage in the alumnae chapter that I'm a member of. I crossed in 2012. Unfortunately, my husband has become ill so I've had to pull back from my involvement. I appreciate that I can as much or as little as I'm comfortable with but I wouldn't feel comfortable not doing anything. Right now I'm on one committee and support chapter functions as I'm able. Thanks for posting. I started following your blog a couple of years before I crossed. Thanks for posting such invaluable information!

  3. Hello Big Sister Love.

    I really enjoy reading your posts. It has in many ways kept me grounded in my journey of seeking membership in Delta Sigma Theta. I am currently a pyramid. Unfortunately, it has not been a pleasant experience for me. One of my line sisters is basically pledging "dirty" and has not shared information that is considered secret/untold info of DST with the line. This has in many ways resulted in a division within the line instead of sisterhood/unity. Even her spec has agreed that hazing is a must to make sure that we all know the information both known and unknown and are not an embarrassment to her and her chapter. My problem is that if the info are untold secrets, why are there so many devout DST members that don't know about these untold secrets? I have asked my DST mentors who range in active membership from 5-30+ years. When I asked them about the small amount info that I did know, they knew nothing about it. I guess my questions are:

    What should I do about/ handle this situation?

    Why are these untold secrets not known amongst all active members of DST?

    Is it not ok to make others aware or share these untold secrets with members of your line? If not, why?

    Are there untold secrets that I should know? If so, what is the best way to get the info?

    How can I work at establishing and preserving unity/sisterhood within my line?

  4. Hi!! I would first like to thank you for your wonderful blog. I have read each of your post about one million times. I am wondering if it's still realistic of me to show interest in pledging an organization although I was not active on campus freshman year and I'm kind of on the bigger side. I am afraid my appearance and shyness will prevent me from being a likeable candidate for that organization, although it is not based off of looks. I am a rising sophomore. Is there any advice you would suggest? Thanks again!