Monday, January 19, 2015
Being a part of one of the LARGEST Black Greek Letter Organizations, I am asked this question quite often. How does it feel to be a member of an organization based on sisterhood? What does it mean? Is it all what people say it's "cracked up to be?"
When I became a member of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority Inc. I instantly gained several "sisters" from my chapter. I bonded with these ladies for many days, and many nights getting to know them on a "personal" level. We learned each other habits, our wants, likes, dislikes, and bonded over the love of becoming members of this wonderful organization. We laughed together, cried together, argued together, complained together, prayed together, ate together, slept together, went to school together, studied together, and learned together. We never judged each other, and we were there to help each other when needed. I would NEVER trade my experience or my journey to this wonderful sisterhood for anything in the world. Our bond is like no other, and we will stick with each other until the end. Even after we graduated and started our adult lives, I know that whenever I need ANY of them, they are there for me. What I especially love about the sisterhood we have, is whenever there is a wedding, baby shower, or even an anniversary, when we get together it's like we never left each others side. The last time I was with my beloved chapter members was when one of our neo's got married in Chicago last May. Two of my ships got hotel rooms together, and when we all got together, we turned into those giddy 19/20/21 year old girls that we once were in college. Reminiscing about college life, our bonds, our process, and the overall delta experience was wonderful. Being an adult now with most of them married, with children, and big careers, makes it hard for us to connect with each other often. However when we get together, it's like we haven't skipped a beat. That is the TRUE bond of sisterhood/brotherhood. I know if I ever found myself in a bind, I have several sorority sisters I can call and they would be there for me in a heartbeat. THAT is true sisterhood.
I love seeing my hubby get together with his fraternity members from his home chapter. They laugh and joke about their experience of Alpha life as well. One great thing about being married to someone who is also a member of a Black Greek Letter Organization, is "they get it." They understand the bond, that is shared amongst the members. They realize that although as husband and wife we share everything, but the road to XYZ land is one thing that is a special thing that is NEVER shared outside of members of the chapter.
Does sisterhood/brotherhood exist only at the undergraduate level? NO! This experience is also shared at the graduate level as well. My best friend just became a member of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority Inc. a few years ago, and the love and bond that she shares with her line sisters/shippies, reminds me so much of how it was when I pledged over a decade ago. They have PJ parties, road trips, share each other's birthdays, etc. If anything I would say that I am a little envious because when I pledged in undergrad, I crossed and was made by members who were from Chicago, St. Louis, Wisconsin, and other states. When it was time for graduation, they all either went back home to start their careers, moved out of state for graduate schools, went into the military, or moved out of the country. With my BFF, she joined an Alumnae Chapter in the suburbs of Chicago they are much older (obviously) and they are still together in the Chicago-Land area. Seeing her pictures on facebook made me realize how blessed she was to have her ships/home chapter within reach.
Although I grew up in a large family, and I had two blood sisters already, I truly enjoyed expanding my family by joining Delta Sigma Theta Sorority Inc.
Whatever organization you are interested in joining, have comfort in knowing that IF you are accepted, you will now have a large circle of new sisters and brothers you can count on. And that my dear friend, is a BEAUTIFUL thang!
Tuesday, January 13, 2015
Monday, January 5, 2015
Today was a very sad day for ALL ESPN fans, and Members of Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity Inc. He lost his battle for cancer. I use to watch him ALL THE TIME in HS. He gave ESPN some flavor....merging Hip Hop terms, with Sports. My hubby was devastated because like many OTHER fans he LOVED him some Stuart Scott. His passion for the game was undeniable, his love for his fraternity was undeniable. My heart aches for his two beautiful daughters. May God give the peace and comfort during this trying time.
RIP Mr. Scott, As cool as the other side of the pillow.......
Sunday, January 4, 2015
As I sit here and reflect on 2014, I realized I am truly blessed. I have received SO many emails from prospective members of various organizations (Fraternities, Sororities,) that are now my Sorors, Sistergreek Friends, and members of fraternities! It truly touched my heart that they have stated how this blog has helped them by answering many questions they had, helped them overcome being shy, and how to start the process of becoming a member of XYZ organization.
I have made it a point in previous blogs, that the main purpose of me doing this blog is because I didn't have the luxury of anyone answering my MANY questions, of HOW, WHAT, WHEN, and WHY. I had to figure it all out on my own, and although I appreciate the process of learning, it would have been SO helpful to find a blog, website, or even have someone to talk to in regards to Greek Life In General.
Thanks for your encouragment, your thank you's, and your support! I hope go meet some of you (epecially my SORORS) someday at a Regional/National Convention.
Wishing you ALL a wonderful 2015, and I hope for those who are looking to cross over into Greekdom, are able to reach that goal this year.
Ciao for now!
Saturday, December 27, 2014
So there's this show......on VH1.....called Sorority Sisters. A lot of people asked me if I heard of the show. YES! Have I seen the Show? YES! Do I support the show? Uh, NO!
When I first heard about this show it was last summer....actually, let me rewind, it was further than that. I remember when there was a casting call for women who were members of the Divine Nine. I must admit that my curiosity got the best of me. When I found it Mona Scott-Young was behind it, I knew it was going to be a ghetto hot mess. I actually thought there is no way in the world, an ACTIVE-FINANCIAL member of any sorority would be a part of this. BOY WAS I WRONG. When the trailer was released last summer, the Divine Nine members came a blazin! Someone created a petition, and in a matter of days, over 40k signatures (mine's included) was collected.
Mona went as far as trying to bring her cast to AGP (Atlanta Greek Picnic) but the organizers shut her down. The next thing I knew, the trailer was pulled from the internet, and it seemed as if sorority sisters would not see the light up day. YES! I was happy, people in greekdom was happy, all was well with the world.
Then about 3 weeks ago, it appeared again. This time a longer trailer was released....this time they had a premier date. When I watched the trailer I was mortified! Delta's arguing with other Deltas. AKAs and Deltas arguing, cussing, not getting along, etc. This isn't what SISTERHOOD is about. This show is NOT a representation of what GreekLife is about. If it was, TRUST ME, I have NOT became a member of my beloved sorority.
I started to watch the show so I could judge for MYSELF how it would be. I was hoping for the best, but I was wrong. I couldn't even watch the entire episode so I flipped the channel. (I hate I gave them 5 mins of my time) A few mins later a soror on fb invited me to an event on facebook "Do NOT watch Sorority Sisters and I invited every soror and greek on my page to join. Although I did not watch the entire episode, according to my facebook feed the show was just as bad as LAHHNY and LAHHATL. I cringed because they didn't even TRY to disguise that these women were members of these organizations. I heard that they wore the colors, did their hand signs, did the call, and the at every time their name appeared at the bottom of the screen, they made a point to state the FULL NAME of their Greek letter organization. I was mortified, confused, angry, and embarrassed. What made this worse, is most of these women were in their early 30's late 40s. Just a few of them were in their late 20's. WHO ACTS like this at this age????? WHO? It was embarrassing on so many levels.
Mona Scott-Young, and VH1 has made a mockery of these organizations that was founded on scholarship, SISTERHOOD, and service.
The only thing this ghetto of a hot-mess show did was unite the BGLOs even closer together. Since VH1 did not hear us, (They came out with a statement that they will not be shutting the show down) then we decided to boycott the advertisers who advertised during the show. Our efforts have worked so far. To date we have 41 advertisers who have promised not to air their commercials during Sorority Sisters. I had tons of people inboxing me, and tweeting me about my opinion of the show. I told them NOT TO WATCH, and expressed my concerns on how it was not a good look for greek life in general. We may not be able to shut the show down THIS season, but I am hoping that this will be the LAST season they will have sorority sisters.
So do me a favor, please lets all stand together (rather if you are Greek or not) and BOYCOTT Sorority Sisters.
Sunday, December 14, 2014
Happy Holidays Everyone!
Wishing all of you that are enrolled either in a college and/or university many blessings and safe travels (for those who attend school outside of their hometown). This time of year always makes me excited! I will NEVER forget when I was anxiously awaiting my FINAL grades, because I wanted to make a huge impression on the Delta Chapter at my School. My grades FINALLY came in on December 23rd, and my GPA was a 3.8. It's funny because I was jumping up and down in our living room, and my mom was like "Chile what is wrong with you?" I told her that I aced last semester, and she was proud!
After coming off of my high of having a 3.8 GPA (the minimal requirement for joining the sorority was a 2.5, however I wanted to go over and BEYOND the minimal requirement) I started to get very nervous and all of the what ifs started to set it.
What if they don't like me?
What if they feel like they don't know me?
What if my overall 3.8 isn't good enough?
What if I can't overcome my shyness?
What if I don't get granted an interview?
What if I get stumped on an interviewing question?
What if? What if? What if?
I had a wonderful Christmas that year, spending half of it with my family in Chicago, and the other half with my then boyfriend, now husband's family. My husband and her sister JUST pledge Alpha Phi Alpha and Alpha Kappa Alpha the year before, and they were trying to give me a few tips on how to stand out when I returned back to school.
I started to make a journal to share my thoughts on how I was feeling, as well as write down the advice that I was given from my sister-n-law. I really wanted to get in contact with my ex's sister since she gave such WONDERFUL advice and was a Delta, but felt it would be too weird since the break up with her brother and I was horrible. At any rate, I writing down my feelings in my journal was exhilarating. Every now and then from time to time, I go back and read my thoughts and get a real laugh at how I was nervous for NOTHING! I wrote down potential questions of what I THOUGHT they would ask me, like Why do you want to be Delta, what could you bring to Delta, Why should we pick you for membership, etc. Now of course I had no idea if they would ask these questions or not, so I was just "Guessing" and preparing myself. I just figured since people have always said to treat it like a job interview, and these are interviewing questions that I had been asked in the past.
All of those "What Ifs" that I asked myself was very helpful in the end. I realized that I had to be me! I had to be the person that God created me to be, and if that wasn't good enough for them, then I will just try again the following year.
So my advice to you during this "STRESSFUL TIME"??? Enjoy your winter break. You have worked SO hard this semester, studying hard, getting good grades, and performing and serving your community. (At least that what you SHOULD have been doing) And NOW???? The fall semester is behind you, and you Spring Semester is upon you in a few weeks. During this time, the only thing I asked for Christmas was $$$$ Something I have NEVER asked before, however I knew that joining Delta was going to be an EXPENSIVE task......Although I had already saved up quite a bit of money from my job, I wanted to be safe than sorry. I started browsing the internet, looking at cute Delta Paraphernalia and bookmarking some internet sites of things that caught my eye. Now I had no idea if I would ever get a chance to actually PURCHASE these items because as I stated before, the chapter where I attended was VERY PICKY on who they picked for membership.
Monday, November 17, 2014
If I had a nickel for every email, comment, question that I have received surrounding this topic....... Look. I will be frank, I have been there. SHY! VERY SHY! I will never forget when my husband first approached me. He was trying to "holla" and I guess I was too shy, and naïve to even notice. (Well that and I just got out of a bad relationship and the LAST thing on my mind was trying to date). I have always been that shy person since I was little. In elementary school, I was never notice because I was too shy to be noticed. I just went to school, came home did my homework and went to bed. Most of my friends during my elementary school years were my friends at church, and All-City Youth Chorus in Chicago. For some reason, I have never been the type of person that just would go up to a random person and start chatting. I am more of an introvert. I was like that my ENTIRE elementary school year until I entered the talent show. I performed and won first place. Then everyone started to talk to me, as if they just met me for the first time.
High School was the same. I was shy, to myself, and allowed very few people in my circle. No one knew I existed then either until the end of freshman year when I entered the talent show. Once again I won FIRST PLACE which was quite an accomplishment considering that I went to a performing arts school in Chicago. For some reason, my shyness goes away when I am on stage. I am like in a totally different world. I remember reading how both Michael Jackson and Beyoncé felt that way. And I understood exactly what they were saying....THAT.WAS.ME.
When I decided I wanted to become a member of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority Inc. I knew I had to get over my shyness. I had to make a point to allow the member to get to know me. THE REAL ME. But that meant stepping out of my box, and allowing STRANGERS in. That was SO hard for me. I had trusts issues, and I realized I had to let that go. I had to walk up to people and speak, say hello, and spark conversations. I realized this would be my ONLY chance for them to get to know me.
So here are a few steps that can help you get over your shyness.
Keep your eyes on the prize. If you want to join any of these organizations, keep telling yourself that you have to overcome this fear to conquer your goal. This will not only help you with joining these organizations, but it will be a life lesson as well.
Take a deep breath.
Remember that once upon a time, they were in your shoes. Sometimes prospective members are blinded by those THREE beautiful letters written across the chess, arm, or back of a jacket of a member. They feel those letters are powerful. Only the best of the best gets to wear those letters. And while that may be true depending on who you ask, they were once in your shoes as well. I am sure they can all relate to how you feel about wanting to be a part of the org SO BAD you can taste it.
Listen to some inspiration music often. This can be helpful sometimes to give you confidence. My oldest brother use to listen to Chariots of Fire, or the Theme from Rocky. For me, my tune was "Survivor" by Destiny's Child, or any upbeat Gospel song. This can help you in so many ways
Give GREAT eye contact to whomever you are speaking to. Give people the respect when you are talking to them. Don't look down on the floor, or up at the ceiling. It will show a sign up weakness, or disrespect, and you don't want to come off that way.
Speak with CONFIDENCE! Even though you are DYING inside, don't ever let them see your sweat. Trust me I have been there. I remember going to an event, and I felt SO intimidated because all the members were there, dressed to the nine. There were over 100 girls there, and I didn't want to get lost in the crowd. So when I spoke, I spoke up with confidence, sincerity, and I felt my words had substance.
WALK with confidence. You NEVER KNOW who is watching you, so you need to carry yourself like you have all the confidence in the world. Now there is a difference between confidence and arrogance. Members in these orgs, want to pass the torch down to potential leaders, people that will bring their chapter to new heights. Make them believe that YOU are that person.
In closing the last thing you want to happen is for an opportunity to pass away because you were too shy. Then you will be sitting in your dorm room, or house/apt asking that DREADFUL QUESTION....WHAT IF?????? Don't be that "What If" person. If I was that person, I would not be where I am in life today. Happily married to the man of my dreams who I decided to give a chance after that bad relationship, enjoying life as a teacher, doctoral student, performer, and a wonderful family.
Ciao For Now!