Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Okay, I get it, You are jumping up with Glee because you received the phone call of your life.....You got accepted into XYZ Sorority/Fraternity! You want to shout it to the mountain top. You want to tell everyone important in your life. You want to tell your boo/significant other, Teacher, Mom, Dad, BFF, Ex-BFF, Sister, Brother, Auntie, Uncle, Grandparent, Your Dog, (well telling your dog is not a bad thing unless it's the dog from that Bush Baked Beans Commercial...Roll that beautiful beans footage haha)
As much as you want to Shout it to the Mountain Tops, Discretion is KEY!!!! You really need to keep your mouth shut and keep who you tell to a BARE minimal. I never understood why folk want to go "Run Tell Dat." One thing that I have learned is this is a new generation, and things that use to happen back when I pledged doesn't happen anymore. When I joined, we kept our mouth SHUT! We were afraid that if our Big Sisters found out that we were talking, or that the yard found out they were having a line, (or who was online) they would drop the line. In the past, I have seen this happen. A friend of mine who was pledging AKA told everybody and her mama that she was going through the process, and they refunded her money and said "no thanks." (This was many years ago, before the MIP process)
What did I do when I join and who did I tell??? The person who wrote my letter of recommendation. I felt I owed her THAT much because I wouldn't be at the position that if she didn't write my letter. My mom didn't know, my sisters/brothers didn't know, Heck my BEST friend didn't even know. I wanted them to be surprised when they saw those Three Beautiful Letters across my chest. Wouldn't you want the same type feeling? I will never forget when I finally told my BFF. I was a Delta for about two months, I came home for the summer, and I invited her over. Although it was the summer in Chicago, I had on a windbreaker. When she came in, I told her I had a huge secret I was keeping from her, she was like what??? What?? Tell me! At that moment, I opened up my windbreaker with those beautiful letters written across my chest. She grabbed me, Hugged me with tears in her eyes. She knew how much I wanted to be a Delta, and was extremely happy for me. She couldn't believe that I kept it from her. She was like quick; lets take a ride....We went to Evergreen Plaza (Otherwise known as EverBlack in Chicago) and went to the Greek Store and Sistagirl hooked me up with a lot of paraphernalia.
Now isn't that a feel-good story? Wouldn't you like to experience that as well? I never understood why prospective members want to RUN TELL DAT so quickly to folks, especially people at the Alumnae Level. Okay, I get why you would tell your parents, for example, you may need them to chip in and help pay for the pledging costs. But at the Alumnae Level, Really???? Other than your Spouse, Your Sponsor/Someone, who wrote your letter of recommendation, No one else needs to know.
Some of you get it; I have heard from quite a few of you BEFORE you were picked, and AFTER you became a member....Some I have bought paraphernalia for even though we have only met e-styles. (internet style).
So please for the love of God, Keep your Mouth Shut! Trust me you will appreciate it SO much more after the fact if you can share a similar story with your close family/friends that I did.
So you've seen them,,,,T-Shirts that said My Mommy is a.......My Daddy is a...... I think they are cute! Especially the shirts for babies and Toddlers. So what are my feelings on T-Shirts like this? Personally I don't see anything wrong with them. When I was in College, and I attended the National Convention in Chicago for Delta Sigma Theta Sorority Inc, I saw a shirt that said- My Lady is a Delta, (Which I HAD To grab for my then Boyfriend Now Husband) and I saw another one that said My Daughter is a Delta, (Which I purchased for my mother).
My Husband who is an Alpha, wore it to a Delta Union Party to represent me, and he wore it proud. My Mom wore the shirt so much, it started to fade and I told her that she couldn't wear it anymore.
The shirts that I purchased for the both of them, spelled out the name...my Daughter is a D-E-L-T-A. I stress this because I have seen shirts that says My Mother/Father is a then the GREEK letters. That is a No! No! and I do not understand why vendors would even make shirt of this nature. As much as we love our love ones and they want to show off their love for your organization HOWEVER they should not be allowed to wear your Greek Letters. I especially hate those shirts that say My So and So is a ...(which is small letters) and DELTA SIGMA THETA, or KAPPA ALPHA PSI...in Greek Letters mind you in LARGE Letters. If you were walking down the street and you saw someone in a shirt like this from a distance, you will instantly think they are a member of the organization. I have ran into that SOOOO many times! Thinking someone was my soror and they weren't.
I would also REFRAIN from wearing such shirts if you desire to be a member of that organization as well. Some shirts are purchased as gifts and should NOT be worn.....
Now one of the BEST shirts I have seen (And I am still look to purchase one) is My Sister is a Delta Sigma Theta (In Greek Letters) in the front, and in the back it says And so am I :-)
(Shirts for Babies, and Toddlers are okay,,,, But NOT for middle-school and high school students.)
For the life of me I really don't get the whole "Future Greek" Phenomenal. Think about when you were trying to pledge,,,,,You worked HARD for those letters, especially those of you that were either first generation to attend college, or the first person in your family to pledge a Greek Letter Organization. So why would you feel that your daughter or son is entitled of becoming a member of your organization simply because you are? If they are babies, then sure it's cute, when they get older, I don't think it's so cute. I never liked Future Greek Shirts because it sets the child up for failure. Now purchasing "My Mom is a ......My Dad is a......I can get with that, because they are simply acknowledging the fact that their parent, aunt, etc is Greek, but to say Future? No, not a good look!
What you are doing is installing entitlement issues in your children. Shirts such as these simply say that no matter what the chapter vote says, as long as I meet the bare requirements, I am entitled to be a member of this BGLO simply because my Mom/Dad is a member. It can also backfire, because while you are dressing up in your beloved organization, They may grow up and join a completely different organization. I did! Although I wasn't aware at the time when I was a child, my family consists of nothing but the Blue and White (And I mean there are TONS of them) however when the time came for me to choose the best organization for me, I choose Delta Sigma Theta Sorority Inc. Imagine attending a family reunion and they pull out those old baby pics and seeing you in a "future" shirt as you are rocking the Tee shirt of the organization you actually pledge?
What really gets my blood boiling is seeing Teenagers rocking "Future Shirts" as well. It's one thing to have on a ones-y being a toddler, but come on now, she is driving around with a Future shirt on? REALLY???? That is really setting him/her up for failure, and honestly it's not a good look! Look I get it, we are living in a day and age where it's almost impossible to find a Line where there is not at least one female with a child, which is why I decided to write this blog. So if you are on the quest to join a BGLO and you have a child, PLEASE do not dress them in Future shirts if you are able to join. You will get a lot of "side eye" looks from your sorors. TRUST ME!
Next Blog Post will discussed "My Mother Is, My Friend is, etc....To wear or not to wear is the question..... Hmmm.....
Friday, October 14, 2011
So you're new on campus, you don't know anyone, you don't know where to start, but one thing you DO know is you want to be a member of XYZ. So how do you accomplish this goal since you are so shy??? This is one of the top five questions I receive all the time. Hey I get it, you are shy, you are not the type of person that starts up a conversation with people you don't know. I was (and in some cases still am) that person today. One thing I had to realize is I had to overcome my shyness, and it was imperative to allow the members to get to know me. Now I didn't do this all in one night, it took time. I first started by attending all of their events. I wanted my face to be familiar to them. After a while, they when they saw me on campus, they started speaking to me, which made me feel so good. For the events they had about awareness, I made it a mission to make my voice heard. I also became very active in the community as well as on campus. Some of the orgs that I was a member of the Deltas were apart of as well. After being involved in the same orgs as some of the Deltas on campus, I felt comfortable in speaking with them, and at one point, I was able to speak with the president about my quest in joining her organization.
So I would say, take baby steps like I did!
1. Go to the events and support them.
2. Be vocal at these events, make yourself known and noticed at the events.
2. Join other orgs and join committees, and if possible go out for a leadership role
Eventually you will develop the courage to talk to the members of the organization of your choice.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
So you just crossed into *Fill in the blank* -land. After weeks/months of studying, learning necessary information, and finally passing the test, you are finally a member of the Greek organization of your dreams. Now you have developed the disease "Neo-itist" What is that you may ask? It's when a brand new member talk, walk, sleep, and only buys things related to their organization.
For those who are a member of a BGLO, you know exactly what I am talking about. Heck, I have been there a well. When I crossed into Delta Land, everything that I had been red/white or crimson and cream. I was on the internet looking and searching for the fly-est, dopest- *yeah I know you all don't use these words anymore, but I am old school* jackets, shirts, sweaters that were around. My poor husband, bought Alpha Phi Alpha stickers, and he placed them on his coffee mug, his car, his mirror, etc. *He would kill me if he knew I was sharing this info, LOL*
Is something wrong with this, heck naw! You worked hard for those letters, The time you put in, the MONEY you spent, for some of you all (PreMIP) the Blood, Sweat, and Tears. After going through the pledge process *or MIP process* for weeks/months, and I know a few that went through it for an ENTIRE YEAR, you deserve to celebrate this moment by representing your organization by displaying your three Letters!
The only request that I have for brand new members is PLEASE don't forget how it was on the other side. Keep the same friends that you have. As long as you do that, then enjoy rocking your pink and green Shoes, Socks, Shoelaces, Shirt, Hat, and handbag. You are only a Neo once, so enjoy it while you can! I sure did! I rocked red and white as much as I could, and everyday I rep my org in some way shape of form. This range from either having one a hat, pin, shirt, bag, or a key chain.