Saturday, November 21, 2015

When is a good time to pledge??? (Grad)

I blogged about this topic at the undergrad level a few years ago. Although I meant to blog about my thoughts on when is a good time to pledge at the graduate level, it totally slipped my mind, so here we go!

So, you tried to join the organization of your dreams, but you couldn't due to circumstances beyond your control. This can be due to the org was suspended or on probation on your campus, the National Organization was going through a moratorium, you tried several times but not selected for whatever reason, or you just never thought about pledging!

So when is a good time to start perusing the organization of your desire? NOW!  Joining an Alumni/Alumnae Chapter is MUCH different than trying to join an undergrad chapter. It is easier to get to know the members on a college campus than members from a graduate chapter. Through taking classes together, being members of other org on campus, being roommates, neighborhoods, staying in the same dormitory, etc. Trying to connect alumnae/alumni members has its challenges because the only opportunity you may have to connect with members is at events, at your job if you work together, or at church.

I have mentioned in one of my previous posts that my best friend FINALLY became a member Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority Inc-her dream sorority. It was a challenge for her for many years. Trying to get to know the members of the chapter, making that particular connection with members, etc. After she finally made a few connections with members, attended their events, and she allowed them to get to know her it made her journey so much easier.

So when is a goo time to pledge at the alumnae/alumni level? Well, there are a few questions you need to ask yourself.

1. Why do you want to become a member?
   Is it a longing that you have had for years and years but did not have the opportunity?
  Were you not financially stable to make that commitment? (It is expensive)
  Were you focused more on starting your career, and now that you have started your career you fell that you are ready?
  Is it something you never thought about before, but now for some reason you have this longing in your heart and finally make that step?

Or maybe it can be something entirely different that I didn't even mention. I always tell prospective members to figure out why they want to pledge before making that step. Evaluate and re-evaluate your reasons before taking that leap.

2. Do you realize how EXPENSIVE it is to become a member and to REMAIN a member? Membership in these organizations costs money.....a lot of money. I am not going to sugar coat it; I will just tell it like it is. The cost of membership varies from organization to organization, but at the end of the day, it cost money. Also please understand that membership does not stop AFTER you pay your initiation fee. Once you become a member, there are yearly dues that you must pay, some events that you must support financially and so on. If you feel you are not at a point to support the org of your choice, then wait. Wait until you are financially in a position to support the organization.

3. Are you still holding on to those college dreams/fantasies? Just......STOP...and DON'T!  It doesn't matter if you are 21-61-or 91, If you are seeking membership at the graduate level, then you are a COLLEGE GRADUATE! Now I am not saying that you can not go back to your alma mater to represent your organization during homecoming, but at the end of the day, you are NOT a member of that college chapter. I have seen this so SOOOO many occasions. Folks were trying to pledge XYZ org didn't get either picked, or the chapter was suspended, so they join as SOON as they graduate. Nothing wrong with that, except some of these folks, go BACK to their alma mater and try to "act as if" they are from that chapter. Now don't get me wrong, your membership is no better than the membership of those who pledged at your alma mater, HOWEVER doesn't fake the funk as if you were a part of that chapter. This may sound crazy, but BELIEVE ME, I have seen it happen!

4. You saw XYZ doing amazing things in the community, and you want to attach your name to that particular organization. Nothing wrong with that.

5. You are a legacy, you want to make your mom/grandmother, father/grandfather proud!

6. It's on your bucket list and something you want to cross off your list.

Now there may be many other reasons for why you wish to join at the grad level, but I guess the main point I want to get across is you need to make sure you understand your reasoning of why you want to join.

One you realize that you want to join, you have your finances in order, then what's next???

Making your interests known is a GREAT start. Now I don't mean that you have to walk up to a member and say; Hello, my name is________ and I want to be a ________. That is not a good idea. What I mean however is attending different events, volunteering at community service events when possible. Striking up a conversation at a few of these events if the opportunity presents itself, etc.  For years, I have been saying how important it is for them to get to know you and for you to get to know them.  Remember that this is sisterhood/brotherhood that you are joining.


  1. So I have question as a college graduate that attend in predominantly white institution.

    While in college I really wanted to become a member of a sorority. I did my research, I knew the history of the sorority I wanted to join inside and out. I knew the history of the chapter at my university, and all the name of the current members. I attended all the events they held (if any). My problem was finding them on campus beside at the events, there were so few left. See, at my school most of the sororities were suspended (well as far as the NPHC sororities went). Once a new group was presented, they were suspended again. (I know “new group” isn’t the correct terminology but some people do not like the term “line dropped” or “pledged”). I started school in fall 2008, a new group displayed in spring of 2009 (my freshmen year) with 19 girls all seniors and 1 junior. The next time that sorority reappeared on campus was in Spring 2014. I graduated in 2012… so pretty much I missed any opportunity to join the undergraduate chapter. This was how it was like for most of the sororities at my university.

    Now that I’ve graduated, due to work, I travel a lot, so I haven’t really found a stable location to call home. Also as a college graduate, joining a sorority, at this time, seems to be frowned upon or mocked. One of my coworkers (who is a member of a sorority) said grad chapter members are wanna-bes, and she will never respect them. But some of us never had a chance at all to join a sorority while in school. Any advice?

    1. I understand your concern. I want to pledge a head chapter as well. I think about other's opinions at times, they may say I am not a real sister if I make it that far....but the desire to become a member is so strong that I have gotten to the point that I don't care about the opinion of others. You do what makes you happy. Just because you know that one woman may not respect you for pledging head chapter, it doesn't mean that all Sorors will feel that way. You'll have line sisters that will love you & have your back unconditionally. You'll be fine. Good luck!

  2. I am so certain that I want to become a member of my dream sorority (alumnae chapter). I'm just waiting for them to have a line. The wait is killing me. They haven't had a line in 7 or 8 years. Breaks my little heart.

  3. I have heard a few times about not going back to your alma mater and act like a chapter member even though you crossed grad. I guess I don't get it completely. At my school, I was friendly with the members of the chapter and when I come back for homecoming next year as a new member of the org through grad, am I not suppose to be at the XYZ org table for tailgating? Is that looking like a wanna-be? Am I not suppose to wear my letters and pretend I'm not a member? I guess I'm still confused.

  4. I am considering joining a grad chapter and have been attending events, helping the ladies set-up/tear down for their events, being a performer for their events, and showing myself friendly. I have become social media pals with most of the ladies in the local grad chapter. I have all my letters, a good GPA, etc. etc...The thing that continuously makes me nervous is that I went to college at an online university. I always wonder if that will hurt my chances. It seems that I fuse well with the ladies in the chapter, but I don't know whether graduating online will be a deal breaker. I'm former military, so I'm sure it's obvious to them why I had to attend school online. Do sorors frown upon online degrees?