Monday, November 17, 2014

Tips On How to Get Over Being Shy......

If I had a nickel for every email, comment, question that I have received surrounding this topic....... Look. I will be frank; I have been there. SHY! VERY SHY! I will never forget when my husband first approached me. He was trying to "holla" and I guess I was too shy and naïve to even notice. (Well that and I just got out of a bad relationship, and the LAST thing on my mind was trying to date). I have always been that shy person since I was little. In elementary school, I was never noticed because I was too shy to be seen. I just went to school, came home did my homework and went to bed. Most of my friends during my elementary school years were my friends at church and All-City Youth Chorus in Chicago. For some reason, I have never been the type of person that just would go up to a random person and start chatting. I am more of an introvert. I was like that my ENTIRE elementary school year until I entered the talent show. I performed and won first place. Then everyone started to talk to me as if they just met me for the first time.

High School was the same. I was shy, to myself, and allowed very few people in my circle. No one knew I existed then either until the end of freshman year when I entered the talent show. Once again I won FIRST PLACE, which was quite an accomplishment considering that I went to a performing arts school in Chicago.  For some reason, my shyness goes away when I am on stage. I am like in an entirely different world. I remember reading how both Michael Jackson and Beyoncé felt that way. And I understood exactly what they were saying....THAT.WAS.ME.

When I decided, I wanted to become a member of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority Inc. I knew I had to get over my shyness. I had to make a point to allow the member to get to know me. THE REAL ME. But that meant stepping out of my box, and allowing STRANGERS in. That was SO hard for me. I had trust issues, and I realized I had to let that go. I had to walk up to people and speak, say hello, and spark conversations. I realized this would be my ONLY chance for them to get to know me.

So here are a few steps that can help you get over your shyness.

Keep your eyes on the prize. If you want to join any of these organizations, keep telling yourself that you have to overcome this fear to conquer your goal. It will not only help you with joining these groups, but it will be a life lesson as well. Take a deep breath.
Remember that once upon a time, they were in your shoes. Sometimes prospective members are blinded by those THREE beautiful letters written across the chest, arm, or back of a jacket of a member. They feel those letters are powerful. Only the best of the best gets to wear those letters. And while that may be true depending on who you ask, they were once in your shoes as well. I am sure they can all relate to how you feel about wanting to be a part of the org SO BAD you can taste it.

Listen to some inspiration music often which can be helpful sometimes to give you confidence. My oldest brother uses to listen to Chariots of Fire, or the Theme from Rocky. For me, my tune was "Survivor" by Destiny's Child or any upbeat Gospel song. 
Give GREAT eye contact to whomever you are speaking to. Give people the respect when you are talking to them. Don't look down on the floor, or up at the ceiling. It will show a sign-up weakness or disrespect, and you don't want to come off that way.

Speak with CONFIDENCE! Even though you are DYING inside, don't ever let them see your sweat. Trust me I have been there. I remember going to an event, and I felt SO intimidated because all the members were there, dressed to the nine. There were over 100 girls there, and I didn't want to get lost in the crowd. So when I spoke, I spoke up with confidence, sincerity, and I felt my words had substance.

WALK with confidence. You NEVER KNOW who is watching you, so you need to carry yourself like you have all the trust in the world. Now there is a difference between confidence and arrogance. Members in these orgs, want to pass the torch down to potential leaders, people that will bring their chapter to new heights. Make them believe that YOU are that person.  

In closing, the last thing you want to happen is for an opportunity to pass away because you were too shy. Then you will be sitting in your dorm room, or house/apt asking that DREADFUL QUESTION....WHAT IF?????? Don't be that "What If" person. If I were that person, I would not be where I am in life today. Happily married to the man of my dreams who I decided to give a chance after that bad relationship, enjoying life as a teacher, doctoral student, performer, and a beautiful family.

Ciao For Now!

V Love


  1. To Know How To Text Your Ex Back Click On The Link

    To Know How To Text Your Ex Back Click On The Link

    To Know How To Get Your Ex back Click On The Link

  2. I know you have mentioned some do's and don'ts throughout your posts, but can you think of some don'ts during the interview (I know one is don't abbreviate the org while speaking; don't say AKA, DST, etc, actually say Delta Sigma Thera) & mention some don'ts that most people don't know about? For instance, would it be out of line to ask the advisor of a sorority when they would come off of suspension? Would it be out of line to ask a sorority when they plan on having an interest meeting, etc?

  3. I go to a very large HBCU, and a lot of people want to go Greek. I remember you saying you were president of your chapter. Can you tell me what were some things girls did that made them stand out when you all held an interview? But even before the interview process you guys have to review applications, right? So what are some things that make an application stand out more than others as well?

  4. Just something that I never really understood - once you're a member of XYZ org on the UNDERgrad level, if you go to graduate school are you automatically a member of the Grad Chapter as well? Or do you have to go through the process all over again?

  5. I have a question about community service. I have volunteered with a local school, but I feel like my biggest contribution to my community is the organizing that I've done when it comes to rallies and protests that a lot of people in my community attends. Since I've done these things on my own and not with an organization, will this still be considered as service? If so, how can I get a verification of doing this?

  6. Hello there! I'd like to hear your opinion on the lack of unity between BGLOs. Also is it more commonly seen at HBCUs vs PWIs? I get the whole "friendly competition" thing but i feel like one major turn off when i was in undergrad was how much black greeks put each other down and almost got into fights over disrespectful comments thrown at each other.

  7. i was wondering is it required to dance when being apart of delta or any other Greek organization

    1. No. Stepping or dancing is not required.

  8. I would really like to know your thoughts on the Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, inc. MIP moratorium, or moratoriums in general, and what does it mean for those that are interested in membership (besides the obvious).


  9. Can I suggest a topic? If so, What about being Interested in undergrad, but is a little older(24-26). Any advice?

  10. How can you spark a conversation while being discreet? People are always watching.