Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Switch?????? WHAT?????

So I even though I have addressed this in my blog already, I have noticed that I am still receiving questions surrounding this topic.

Dear V,

I was interested in joining Organization "A". I love "A" and everything they stand for. I had my heart set on pledging "A" until I went to school this fall. I found out A was not on campus. My heart was broken. I wanted to spend my year getting to know the members of A., So I decided to see if there was an alumnae chapter in the area. To my surprise, there was an active chapter in the area. I attended all of their events; I was able to get to know the members of the chapter, and connect with them. It was at the point where they new my name if they saw me at the neighborhood grocery store, or mall. I felt good about my decision of getting to know them.

I was told that they would not be having intake no time soon since they are on a moratorium. My heart was broken. Why did this have to happen this year of all years? Although I continued to support the alumnae events, I knew that it would not happen for me this year. My roommate, however, was interesting in joining org B. She asked me to accompanied her to a few events, and I decided to support her. In doing so, my eyes have opened to another org. I liked this ladies, and they seemed very nice. Now I am confused. What should I do? Organization A, you have to be a sophomore to join, but Organization B, you only have to be a second-semester freshman. Should I give Organization B a chance? Thanks!

Signed XXX

My ex-boyfriend wanted to be an Alpha. He wanted to be one BAD! I will NEVER forget the time we both went over his cousin's crib,  (Who was ALSO an Alpha) and he gave him the Alpha History book for him to read and study to prepare him for pledging.  (I was MAD jealous, why couldn't anyone give me the Delta History Book???)  Then his BEST FRIEND pledge Omega and he were actually considering joining Omega Psi Phi. This was I believe the only argument that we had at this point. You want to join WHAT???? First off, as much as I love the bruhs. (A term that is used for Q's ONLY in the Midwest until I learned later that Men in fraternities in the South use this......) I was dumbfounded. I told him he only wanted to be a Q because his best friend just pledged Omega Psi Phi. I said he needed to STICK with his original choice. We got into a quarrel one evening and during one of our double dates with my best friend and her boyfriend at the time, I asked her for her advice. She sided with me of course. She said you couldn't pull any stunt like that at my school, (She went to Howard)

I am not sure if he ever became a member of Omega Psi Phi or if he went back to his original plan and became a member of Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity  Inc, or just decided not to pledge anything at all.  When I told my husband this story, he laughed and said that the poor boy was probably confused. Naw, I doubt he was confused, because all we use to talk about was me becoming a Delta, and him becoming an Alpha. He went on to say that he hoped he doesn't pledge his frat, or ANY frat for that matter until he made up his mind. He stated that We don't need people joining the fraternity if they weren't sure.  He went on say that  I just wanted him to become an Alpha because I love me some Alpha Men. LOL!  He's probably RIGHT!

 Believe it or not, this happens QUITE OFTEN.  I have seen it happen to some of my friends, associates, etc. In reading this young lady's post, it appears that she is trying to find to an organization to belong to. As I stated before, I have wanted to be a Delta since I was 14 years old. Never ONCE did I stray from that. Now, I am not saying that it's wrong to change your mind; it's not! My Aunt is a PROUD member of Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority Inc, and I have told you all that I have a family FULL of Zetas. One of my cousins pledged Zeta because it was the "thing to do " in my family. Right when it was time to cross, she dropped. She couldn't do it. She knew that AKA was in her heart, and if she singed her name on the dotted line, it would be the end of her journey. She would NEVER be considered for joining the sorority of her dreams. So the night she was supposed to cross, she dropped a line. Nevertheless, our family members were not happy about her decision. (This was in '84 or 85 I believe)

At any rate, 20 years later, she joined the sorority of her dreams. She had NO regrets and was thankful that she decided to drop a line. Look, I have said this so many times in my blog, membership in this organization is a LIFETIME! You do not want to end up pledging one fraternity/or sorority while secretly wishing you joined the one you wanted to be a member of.

These days, I am have seen my share of "Switching" that is AMAZING TO ME! You pledge one sorority or fraternity in COLLEGE, and then years later, on the other end of the globe, you pledge a DIFFERENT sorority or fraternity at the alumni/alumnae .....  I have asked myself TONS of questions on how this is possible? What happens when you go back to your school? Are you respected by your FIRST choice?  What about your line brothers/sisters? Do you just "throw away" those memories you had when you crossed with your LS/Lbs? Do you get rid of your pictures? What about the images that other people have of you? What if they decide to TAG you on Facebook? Or feature YOU as a Throwback Thursday on Facebook/Twitter, and they are you are.... throwing up your fraternities/sorority hand sign, How do they feel about that decision? And the questions goes on....and on...and on...... Sure you may THINK that they respect you,, but trust me...they are talking about you like a DAWG behind your back. This is ESPECIALLY the case if the org you decided to pledge later one HAD an ACTIVE chapter when you were in school and didn't pledge that chapter for WHATEVER REASON. Although this is none of my business since it did not involve Delta Sigma Theta Sorority Inc. I can't help but wonder how this happened.

Case in point, MAKE SURE you know what you want to be before BROADCASTING it all over the place. You may THINK you want to join Org, A, but realize later down the line that Org B is for you. Now there is nothing wrong with changing, your mind, however depending on how open you were with your first choice, they can be some consequences. People will start testing out your motives. They may think you want to be Greek.....Just because......

Hope you're having a GREAT DAY!



  1. Hello V,
    I have been actively interested in becoming a member of XYZ for two years now. The organization at my university hasn't crossed a line in 4 years. Not for suspension (I know for sure) but internal conflicts I assume. Anyway, XYZ is in my heart and something I still aspire to be. I've made the decision to try for grad/alumnae. However, back when things were supposed to happen (say a year ago) I had the required GPA. Unfortunately life happened and my grades slipped some. So now I believe once I graduate I'll be below the GPA requirement. My question is what to do now? I plan on continuing my education but will that matter should I began pursuing grad/alumnae membership.

    1. Get the gpa in graduate school and you will be fine. When it's time you will only need to submit the grad transcript.

  2. Hello V,
    I am interested in becoming a member of XYZ, and I have already had my interview with them. They never told me if I was cut from the process or if I made it through to the next step. My question is do organizations usually tell you if you made it to the next step or not? Thank you for your time.

  3. Hello V,

    I have a question. When I was in undergrad about 7 years ago, I was really interested in one organization but never joined, though my interest was known to the members on campus. Now that I am a bit older and have a more mature perspective, I feel like my values and ideals are more aligned with another organization.

    I am still friendly with many ladies from my previous org of interest and I know the Greek world is very small, so I am wondering if I would be judged harshly if I tried to join the current org of interest at the graduate level.

    Thanks in advance for your advice.

  4. I would really like to know your thoughts on the Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, inc. MIP moratorium, or moratoriums in general, and what does it mean for those that are interested in membership (besides the obvious).


  5. Hey V,
    So I am Hispanic and was an interest for a multicultural org but as time went on I started doing research and learning the history for the Divine 9.I saw how I would like to learn more information about one in particular would I be ridiculed due to the fact I was first an interest for a multicultural?

  6. I pledged fraternity A in college. Now as I'm older, the brotherhood of the local GRAD chapter (Frat A) is not for me. I actually spend more time with another fraternity (frat B) and those members have joked and told me to write nationals and have my membership removed from frat A and join frat B. I have given this some SERIOUS consideration, just don't know what to do.

  7. Dear V,
    I am a current college student and recently “crossed” said sorority. At first I thought I really thought this was the right sorority for me and I would be making my mom proud , I thought I liked everything they stood for was just what I liked.But after everything I have went through with the whole MIP , probate and more I truly know this is not the right organization for me and I'm not happy being in it . I have always wanted to pledge said sorority B but that sorority is not active on my campus. I think I might have made a mistake maybe? Is it truly possible for me to join the another sorority will I am still undergrad or at all??
    Please Help what should I do or what can I do??

    1. I am guessing you crossed "said sorority" on a college campus? Why did you join? Did you feel pressure from your mom to join? As a proud member of Zeta Phi Beta Sorority Inc., I tell prospective members to make sure they chose the organization that they are willing to serve for LIFE. Unless you pledged a white organization, there are no do-overs in NPHC organizations. You have three options, try to make the org you pledge work, denounce your org and become a GDI again, or just become inactive all together. Your post makes me very sad because I think you should have went with your heart in the first place. In NPHC sororities we have rules and it states on all applications if you were a member of any other greek org. If you say yes, then your application is no longer valid. If you lie and say no, and we find out later that you lied, you will be expelled.