Saturday, October 31, 2009
Letter of Recommendation.... Part II
I have been receiving a lot of emails about how and/or who to ask for a letter of recommendation, so I decided to post a blog about "Letter of Reccomendation Part II"
As I stated before, this letter should be from a financial member of the organization that knows you well enough to speak about your personality, character, and can express their opinions on how you will be a great asset to the organization. I would advise that you NEVER ask someone you barely know, to write you a letter of recommendation. Not only will that person NOT write you one, but you may get your feelings hurt by even asking them.
Also, asking an old friend that you haven't spoken to in a while, or barely spoken to is also not a good option as well. I have experience both ends of the spectrum. I received quite of few females, who have followed me on my blog, or I have answered a question or two that they posted on yahooanswers ask me to write them a letter of recommendation. This is NOT a good thing. I will not write a letter of rec for anyone I do NOT know. Now do I have to meet you in person to know you? NO! There are some girls that I have established a relationship with over the net, and if they asked me to write them one, then I would possibly think about it.
Okay WHEN should you ask for letter? AFTER RUSH! Do NOT ask for a letter way before hand....Most chapters will say that they need for the person to DATE the letter, so trying to over-prepare and get a letter of rec before you even attend the rush is NOT a good idea. I will however suggest that you ask the person beforehand IF they will write you a letter of recommendation when the time comes. But asking them to write you one now, and you haven't even attended a rush, is not a good option.
What will the person include in the letter? Well that's really up to the person and the chapter. A Letter of recommendation for joining a sorority is the same as applying for college, or grad school. By that I mean, when you receive the letter of recommendation, in MOST cases they organization will ask that you provide the letter in a SEALED envelope with the person's signature written across the back of the letter. So I say that to say this, make sure you ask someone that you are not only comfortable with, but someone who will praise you throughout the letter.
I had a situation where a very close friend of mine asked me for a LOR....I haven't spoken to her in a long time other than a text for my birthday. I declined writing her a letter because we haven't truly spoken to each other in years, and I really didn't feel comfortable writing her one, since we have lost touch with one another and I couldn't really comment on her personality, and/character.
I hold my organization very near and dear to my heart, and it takes a VERY special person for me to write them a letter of recommendation. There was another case where a girl really wanted to be a delta ALL for the wrong reasons....It's like she planned her whole schooling simply around pledging the organization. Although I LOVED and admired the love she had for Delta, I felt that she wanted to be a delta all for the wrong reasons. She often talked about stepping, oo-ooping, strolling/strutting, wearing the letters, etc....Sure Delta does all of that, ,and I will oo-oop in a min, but that is NOT what Delta is all about. When she asked me for a letter of recommendation, I simply asked her why she wanted to be a delta. I did NOT like her answer and told her that I could not write her a LOR because she is joining for the wrong reasons. She became angry with me, and told me that she thought of all people she thought I would understand how BAD she wanted this because she recalled how I wanted to be one as well. In the long run, she ended up finding another soror to write her a letter of recommendation, and just as I thought, she was only active for 2 years. She complains about the dues being so high, yet she rocks the latest and hottest designers in a second. She says she doesn't have time to go to the meetings, and to our community service events, yet she is the first person there and the last person to leave at a step show, or a Greek party. Case in point? I was right on the $$ even though I truly wished I was wrong. She was what we call a T-Shirt wearer (I will go into detail about this on another blog)
So I say that to say this,,,,When asking a person to write you a LOR, do not take offense if they decline. It is THEIR choice if they want to write you a LOR or not. If they decline, then keeps it moving until you find someone who will write you a glowing letter. Besides wouldn't you prefer them to decline in writing you a letter of recommendation, oppose them writing you one, sealing it up only to find out that their letter was NOT what you expected? (For example, we had one girl who brought in her sealed LOR and the soror wrote in her letter to NOT accept her in the sisterhood...I was in pure shock when I read that, but she gave some valid reasons)
Case in point; be careful and mindful who you ask to write you a letter of recommendation.
Cia for now!