Sunday, October 10, 2010

I tried to join ABC, but now I want to join XYZ.....

I have received many emails surrounding this topic, so I felt the need to address it! My older cousin decided to follow the trend and become a zeta when she went to college. All of our cousins were Zetas and Sigmas, so I can understand why she decided to become a member.

She submitted her information, was accepted and started the process. Deep in her heart however, she always wanted to become an AKA. Then the day finally came. The hard work she put in was finally coming to an end. She and her line sisters were about to cross and become a lifetime member of Zeta Phi Beta Sorority Inc. She told me when it was time for her to take that oath she refused. She couldn't imagine joining an organization that was not truly in her heart. So that night she made the decision NOT to become a Zeta. Fast forward 25 years later......She fulfilled her dream and became a member of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority Inc. The ladies who would have been her zeta line sisters were there when she had her coming out show, and they gave her a lot of gifts. She told me they were very disappointed that she dropped line especially since she went through the ENTIRE process, but they also knew that even during the process her heart wasn't in it. Her mom was a Zeta, and her Dad was a Sigma, so of course they were disappointed when they found out she dropped line.

The reason why I am sharing this story to you is for two reason. #1 If you have a family member of XYZ org, please do NOT feel obligated to join that particular organization. Although I would be thrilled if my daughter followed in my footsteps and became a member of Delta Sigma Theta sorority Inc, I would NOT want her to join if her heart was not in it. I want her to choose the organization that is truly in her heart.

Okay, so you see the ABC org on campus, your friends are a member of this organization and they convince you to join the org with them. You attend their events, and the Rush. Now the time has come for you to submit your info/packet. As you prepare your packet, there is something tugging inside of you saying "this isn't right." You thought you wanted this but not as bad as you want something else. Now you feel stuck. You feel as if you invested your time getting to know the members of the organization, but you realize if and once you are accepted there is no turning back. You will be a member of this organization for LIFE! And lets just be honest, if you join an org and your heart is not in it, Chances are once you graduate, your membership card, crossing jacket/shirt, and any other paraphernalia will collect dust.

So how do you rectify the situation? Well for starters, You can start by NOT submitting your information. I would then start by attending the events of the organization of your choice. If you have a close relationship with one of the members, then it's okay to pull them aside, and tell them what your aspirations are. Be honest and let them know that at one point you were thinking about joining one organization, but you came to realization that their organization is the best one for you. In some cases you might be accepted by the new organization, and in some cases you might not be, but guess what? There is always Alumnae Chapter right? If your true heart is with this NEW organization then it shouldn't matter if you pledge Undergrad or Grad right???

Good luck you!



  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. So are you saying that it is okay to try out for a different sorority/fraternity if you feel the initial organization you chose was wrong? I ask because the orgs at my university make it a point to say you can only attend ONE interest meeting. However, I feel that there should be some leeway when it comes to this.

  3. so is it possible to switch organization ?