Sponsorship/Letter of Reccomendation

You find out that the chapter at your college/university or the alumnae/alumni chapter has a rush. You are beyond excited, nervous; your adrenaline kicks in on the thought of you fulfilling your dream of becoming a member of XYZ org. You attend Rush with your excitement in tow, trying your best to impress who could soon be your sorority and or fraternity sister/brother.

Then reality sets in. The fee for membership is announced at Rush, and it is a lot more than what you anticipated. You realize you have to have so many hours of RECENT community service. You need a sponsor and don't have one. You have to have a FINANCIAL member write you a letter of recommendation that can speak about your character,  your RECENT community service efforts and why they feel you would be the perfect candidate for membership.

The problem? You do not have the money. You don't have a sponsor. You can't find a financial member to write you a letter of recommendation. You realize that you are either lacking in the community service hours, or the service hours you do indeed have has been from years prior. So what do you do? Well, it appears you didn't prepare yourself for membership. Real Talk! When I found out I wanted to be a member of Delta Sigma Theta (14 years old btw), I did my research. I  have spoken to members. I was able to establish various relationships with Deltas. I also attended multiple events. The internet wasn't as popping as it now, and the only website that was available at the time was the DeltaNet founded by Sorority Sister Bonita Jackson (BeeJae, RIP Soror). I loved that website. It was filled with a wealth of Delta information. Her popular blog post entitled "So you think you want to be Delta" was VERY popular and appeared on many College and Alumnae websites. She is the reason why I decided to create this blog. Her website helped me SO much, and I wanted to pay it forward to all prospective BGLO members.

Although it wasn't publicly known HOW much it would cost, I worked my tail off during Summer months while I was in college to save at least $1100 for the initiation fee.  (It cost nowhere near that much, thank GOD)! I kept my community service hours current, and I stayed in touch with the people that was in charge of my volunteer service so I could use them as a reference. I was hoping to use my ex's sister to gain a letter of rec. from her since she is a Delta (unfortunately, that fell through) I was blessed enough to have two other Delta on standby who were willing to write me a letter. (Thank Goodness) I guess my point is, I was prepared. I was ready. I just needed for the members to take a chance on me. Thankfully they did. The competition was fierce at my University. EVERYONE wanted to be a Delta, so to be quite honest, even after putting my best foot forward, I wasn't expecting to be chosen during the first try. I was wrong. They extended an invitation to me. I was blessed enough to have received the necessary votes for me to start the process of becoming a member of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority Inc.

If you don't have the $, the sponsorship, or someone to write your letter, all is not lost. You need to take this time to work, work, work! Work on saving that money. Work on establishing meaningful relationships with members of the org you so desire to become a member of. My RD gave me the BEST advice. She stated that if someone asks you to write a letter of recommendation are you willing to PAY for their initiation dues? (Hint, membership in all of these orgs are NOT CHEAP). If so, write them a bomb rec. If not, then keep it moving.  I have had a quite few young ladies in applying for membership at both the College level and at the Alumnae chapter ask me for a letter of recommendation.  How many have I written? ONE! I am very particular on writing letters, and if I haven't worked with you, (and recently) and cannot honestly speak on how you can be an asset to the organization from my personal experience, then I will not be writing a letter. Some of the women I haven't heard from in a while. So the first time I hear from them was to ask for a letter of recommendation? Sorry sweetheart but Issa no. If you know me personally, you know that I am a HARD working Delta. I am very active with my chapter, so I will only be writing letters for people that I feel will work hard for the organization as well.

When people say no, don't take it personally. Just realize that you need to ask someone that you feel comfortable with, that can speak to your character, work ethic and knows you personally. This is vital. We (and by we I mean ALL members of BGLOS) have enough T-shirt wearers in our Orgs and don't need any new ones. A T-Shirt wearer is a person that wants to be a member of XYZ org, goes through the process, only to be never seen again. But trust and believe they will make random appearances at Greek Parties or will give a shout out twice a year on Social Media. (The time they crossed as well as their Founders Day). They are either only active/financial while they are in college, and never pays another DUE after graduating from college, or goes through the process as an alum member, and disappears. As I have always stated, LIFE happens. (It did for me during my first few years of getting married, and although I was a member at large while making my monthly Diamond Life Payments, I was not affiliated with an actual chapter).

I tell people all the time, membership in these organizations requires Sisterhood/Brotherhood, MONEY, TIME, and EFFORT! Without them, these orgs would not exist. Just giving you all a food for thought as Rush season is upon us. Good luck all of you, and for those of you that are currently going through the process.

Letter of Recommendation.... Part II

I have been receiving a lot of emails about how and/or who to ask for a letter of recommendation, so I decided to post a blog about "Letter of Reccomendation Part II"

As I stated before, this letter should be from a financial member of the organization that knows you well enough to speak about your personality, character, and can express their opinions on how you will be a great asset to the organization. I would advise that you NEVER ask someone you barely know, to write you a letter of recommendation. Not only will that person NOT write you one, but you may get your feelings hurt by even asking them.

Also, asking an old friend that you haven't spoken to in a while, or barely spoken to is also not a good option as well. I have experience both ends of the spectrum. I received quite of few females, who have followed me on my blog, or I have answered a question or two that they posted on yahooanswers ask me to write them a letter of recommendation. This is NOT a good thing. I will not write a letter of rec for anyone I do NOT know. Now do I have to meet you in person to know you? NO! There are some girls that I have established a relationship with over the net, and if they asked me to write them one, then I would possibly think about it.

Okay WHEN should you ask for letter? AFTER RUSH! Do NOT ask for a letter way before hand....Most chapters will say that they need for the person to DATE the letter, so trying to over-prepare and get a letter of rec before you even attend the rush is NOT a good idea. I will however suggest that you ask the person beforehand IF they will write you a letter of recommendation when the time comes. But asking them to write you one now, and you haven't even attended a rush, is not a good option.

What will the person include in the letter? Well that's really up to the person and the chapter. A Letter of recommendation for joining a sorority is the same as applying for college, or grad school. By that I mean, when you receive the letter of recommendation, in MOST cases they organization will ask that you provide the letter in a SEALED envelope with the person's signature written across the back of the letter. So I say that to say this, make sure you ask someone that you are not only comfortable with, but someone who will praise you throughout the letter.

I had a situation where a very close friend of mine asked me for a LOR....I haven't spoken to her in a long time other than a text for my birthday. I declined writing her a letter because we haven't truly spoken to each other in years, and I really didn't feel comfortable writing her one, since we have lost touch with one another and I couldn't really comment on her personality, and/character.

I hold my organization very near and dear to my heart, and it takes a VERY special person for me to write them a letter of recommendation. There was another case where a girl really wanted to be a delta ALL for the wrong reasons....It's like she planned her whole schooling simply around pledging the organization. Although I LOVED and admired the love she had for Delta, I felt that she wanted to be a delta all for the wrong reasons. She often talked about stepping, oo-ooping, strolling/strutting, wearing the letters, etc....Sure Delta does all of that, ,and I will oo-oop in a min, but that is NOT what Delta is all about. When she asked me for a letter of recommendation, I simply asked her why she wanted to be a delta. I did NOT like her answer and told her that I could not write her a LOR because she is joining for the wrong reasons. She became angry with me, and told me that she thought of all people she thought I would understand how BAD she wanted this because she recalled how I wanted to be one as well. In the long run, she ended up finding another soror to write her a letter of recommendation, and just as I thought, she was only active for 2 years. She complains about the dues being so high, yet she rocks the latest and hottest designers in a second. She says she doesn't have time to go to the meetings, and to our community service events, yet she is the first person there and the last person to leave at a step show, or a Greek party. Case in point? I was right on the $$ even though I truly wished I was wrong. She was what we call a T-Shirt wearer (I will go into detail about this on another blog)

So I say that to say this,,,,When asking a person to write you a LOR, do not take offense if they decline. It is THEIR choice if they want to write you a LOR or not. If they decline, then keeps it moving until you find someone who will write you a glowing letter. Besides wouldn't you prefer them to decline in writing you a letter of recommendation, oppose them writing you one, sealing it up only to find out that their letter was NOT what you expected? (For example, we had one girl who brought in her sealed LOR and the soror wrote in her letter to NOT accept her in the sisterhood...I was in pure shock when I read that, but she gave some valid reasons)

Case in point; be careful and mindful who you ask to write you a letter of recommendation.

Cia for now!