Perp Alert!!!!!

A perpetrator: To inappropriately and unjustifiably wrong another, particularly -but not necessarily- knowingly or maliciously. According to the urban dictionary, a perpetrator is to front. "To fake it 'til you make it." In Greek Word, a perpetrator is someone who "Claims" to a member of an organization and they are not a member.


I have no idea why people perpetrate. I, for one, could NEVER fake being a member of an organization for several reasons. Not only because it's wrong, but what if I get caught? What if I ran into someone from the chapter I am "claiming" to be a member? I have come across several people who have claimed to be a member of my org, only to find out they were perpetrating. It's NOT WORTH IT! First of all the Greek community is very small. We are a tight community and just a phone call away.

I met one young lady "claiming" to be in my org, only to later find out she wasn't. The suspicion started when she began to say things that didn't make any sense. When I tried to invite her to a chapter meeting and told her that I met some of her sorors from the chapter that she "allegedly pledge" she seemed nervous and never wanted to attend. She always came up with a reason she could not attend chapter meetings due to her busy schedule. Now I did not fault her about that, trust me, as a performer, student, and full-time teacher I get it! I could not figure out why she was so nervous about attending a regular chapter meeting. If you can't come, then say you can't and keep it moving. What brought everything to a head is when she was confused about her crossing date, she couldn't remember who the national president was when she crossed, and many other things. The only way I found out that she was not a member was one day at an event, a soror mentioned that her undergrad chapter was having a chapter reunion. I told her that I would inform my friend who also crossed her chapter. I was finally able to bring them together, and she started to ask her questions only to find out she was a perp. The girl admitted that she never pledged, but wanted to so bad and thought that it wouldn't be a big deal to "perp."

Look, DON'T PERP! It's not a good look, you will eventually get caught, and it speaks a lot about your character.

Happy Holidays!!!!

Happy Holidays to all of you out there! I can't believe it's the end of 2015, and in two days it will be 2016. 2015 was an incredible year for me, and I am looking forward to another year (God-willing). Thanks to all of you that have followed me this year, and humbled from all of the "Thank You" emails that I have received. A lot of you have asked me why did I decide to create this blog? Well, I think I made it well known that once upon a time I was in your shoes. A little girl, trying to understand this thing called "Greek Life." I had no idea where to turn, who to go to, where even to begin. This generation, however, is blessed that you have this thing called the "internet." I think I will save all of that for another blog.

I hope all of you had a successful in 2015, and I wish you all blessed 2016. I spent the holidays with my family, and one of the main events that I was thrilled to become a part of was my Chapter's annual "Kwanzaa" event. It was indeed a blessing to be amongst sorors, family, friends, and other members of the Divine Nine to Celebrate Kwanzaa. My oldest brother was in town visiting me from San Diego, and this was his first time experiencing Kwanzaa, so I was happy that I was able to share his first experience with him. 

I am now on the verge of finishing up my last 2015 newsletter (I am the corresponding secretary) and gearing up for Founders Day next month. I can't believe that my sorority will be 103 years old next month. As I am typing this post, I am looking my beautiful Christmas Tree, and I am sad that in two days I will be taking it down.

Now that the old year is winding down and the new year is heading our way rather quickly, you know what that means right???? RUSH! INFORMATIONAL! NEW MEMBERSHIPS! INVITATIONS! NERVES! SPRING 2016 INITIATES!  I am sure are anxiously waiting for that special flier to be put up at your campus/college/university/community so you can attend. For those of you preparing to go through membership intake training, I want to wish you all the best in your journey. Hopefully, this blog was able to help guide you in some way. If you can cross those "burning sands" and you have followed me on my blog, I would appreciate that you either leave a comment or send me an email. I've been known for sending "gifts" to those who I have established a close e-relationship. 

Until 2016,

Happy Holidays

Merry Christmas

Happy Kwanzaa

Happy Holidays 

and HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Ciao for now,

V

Rest Well Soror Bonita Jackson-Butler

Many years ago as I was searching the world wide web, I came across this website called the "DeltaNet." I will NEVER forget it; I was in my mom's basement, and I spent HOURS on this site. It was the only Delta Sigma Theta website that was out there on the world wide web. The creator of this website was Bonita Jackson, also affectionately known as Bee Jae. The website had several topics including "How to become a Delta," Do’s and Don’ts in Greekdom, her experience, and her journey into Delta-Land, etc. It was filled with a ton of Delta/Greek information, and a prospective’s member’s dream. The only other information that was available for people who wanted to join the organization was “In Search Of Sisterhood by Paula Giddings, so finding this on the internet was amazing. I remember bookmarking the website because I just KNEW I would be back to visit. She had a section for “members only,” and I couldn’t WAIT to become a Delta to join the sorors’ only section.

Then it happened! April of 2000, I finally became a Delta, and one of the first things I did was sign up on her site. I was so excited that I finally gained access to meet so many other sorors across the globe who were also members. Two months later I had the opportunity to attend my very first Delta Convention. Bee Jae was selling “DeltaNet” T-Shirts for sorors to wear and she had a special request that if we bought a shirt, she wanted us to wear it to the step show. I bought my shirt and wore it proudly to my very first Delta National Step Show in Chicago, IL. I still have that shirt tucked away in my Delta cedar chest. Before the convention was over, I was finally able to meet her. I told her how I was very grateful for her website and how I learned a lot from the site.

Soror Bonita Jackson-Butler was a straight-forward type person who would tell it like it is. I have always admired her for that. There were so many conversations I had with her through email during my first few years of being a Delta. I was like a sponge and was soaking up her Delta knowledge. “There is no “S” at the end of National Baby soror; You can’t do this baby soror, Let me show the correct way to do that baby soror, etc. She always referred to me as “baby soror.”
Not only was I a member of the DeltaNet, but I was also a part of her DeltaNet group on yahoo groups, an active member of her group entitled “My Sorors Place” on Delphi forums, and we were members of many other Delta only type sites.

BeeJae was my inspiration for starting this website. Back then DeltaNet was the ONLY Black Greek Letter Organization that had a website. I met so many sorors on her website before and after I became a Delta. In my first post, "My journey to DeltaLand" I spoke about a soror who I met through her website when I a six months before me becoming a member. We became very close, and she gave me the courage that I needed to get over my shyness. The first time I physically laid eyes on here was at my wedding. This couldn't have happened if it was not for this beautiful website, DeltaNet, created by Soror Jackson-Butler.

On December 18th, I found out that Bee Jae passed on. I am sad. I will always remember her for love she has shown me, the knowledge she gave me, and I will miss her calling me baby soror. (Even though she hasn’t called me that in YEARS). Although I haven’t logged on to DeltaNet in a few years, I logged on tonight. You see I am still a member of the website. Logging on brought back so many memories of when I first logged on, when I first signed up, buying my DeltaNet T-Shirt, and reading her many posts about Greek life in general. Although she hasn't updated the website within the last year or so, I am sad to know that it will never be updated again.

Rest Peacefully Soror! You will be missed!

My Delta Treasures/TIG:MIR

So two summers ago, my beloved sorority, Delta Sigma Theta Sorority Inc Celebrated a milestone! We turned 100 years old, and we celebrated HARD! From the Rose Bowl Parade, the Hollywood Gala, receiving footage on the "Today's Show",  A Torch Ceremony across SEVERAL states, getting a street named after us, etc. I was fortunate enough to witness MOST of the celebrations. I had planned for this for the past five years, and I told my hubby I wanted to be a part of this milestone. He was able to experience the joy of seeing his fraternity, Alpha Phi Alpha, turn 100 years old, and wanted me to experience it as well. I was beyond excited.
I know several sorors have asked me about my "Delta Treasures. " Delta treasures are Delta paraphernalia that I purchased while celebrating in Washington DC and I posted my treasures in a previous blog post. When I get a chance, I promise to dig through my Delta Centennial Bag to see if I can find their business cards. (It's stored in my garage). At any rate, I wanted to dedicate this post to a soror who made some BEAUTIFUL items to sell to us during National Convention. Her company's name is Tig:Mir Fashion Forward Greek Apparel and her name is Cassandra Johnson.  Her items are BEAUTIFUL, EXQISIT, and ONE OF A KIND. I was kicking myself horribly when I found out her items were being sold at the Renaissance Hotel in DC. (There were three Major places where you could buy Delta Paraphernalia; Howard University, The Convention Hall, and the Renaissance Hotel). I went to Howard and the Convention Hall but never got a chance to shop at the hotel. At any rate, on the last day of the convention, I saw sorors rocking items that I have never seen before. When I inquired about the merchandise, I was TOO LATE! She was completely SOLD OUT. I asked her if she had any items left and she said she made them in small quantities so that sorors could feel special about them.  I wanted to CRY! She did inform me that she had just a couple of items left back in her hometown so I quickly got her card and made a point to connect with her after the convention.
I connected with her when I later got home and bought EVERYTHING she had available in my size. (Thankfully she had some items still available that she left at home.
Check out her "One of a Kind" Greek Paraphernalia:

Me rocking one of her items in South Korea. I received a ton of compliments.

\                     

All of the items that I have listed here are the items that I was able to purchase. I can't even tell you which one is my favorite because I love it all.  It was like Christmas/My Neophyte all over again. I am beyond HAPPY!!!!! She sells other Greek items as well in case you are interested.  She came out with new items last summer. They made their debut at National Convention in Houston. Unfortunately, I was unable to attend the convention. However, I contacted her and made a huge purchase. I will blog about my new items in another post.
Check her out at  TIG: MIR

When is a good time to pledge??? (Grad)

I blogged about this topic at the undergrad level a few years ago. Although I meant to blog about my thoughts on when is a good time to pledge at the graduate level, it totally slipped my mind, so here we go!

So, you tried to join the organization of your dreams, but you couldn't due to circumstances beyond your control. This can be due to the org was suspended or on probation on your campus, the National Organization was going through a moratorium, you tried several times but not selected for whatever reason, or you just never thought about pledging until.....well....now!

So when is a good time to start perusing the organization of your desire? NOW!  Joining an Alumni/Alumnae Chapter is MUCH different than trying to join an undergrad chapter. It is easier to get to know the members on a college campus than members from a graduate chapter. Through taking classes together, being members of other org on campus, being roommates, neighborhoods, staying in the same dormitory, etc. Trying to connect alumnae/alumni members has its challenges because the only opportunity you may have to connect with members is at events, at your job if you work together, or at church.

I have mentioned in one of my previous posts that my best friend FINALLY became a member Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority Inc-her dream sorority. It was a challenge for her for many years. Trying to get to know the members of the chapter, making that particular connection with members, etc. After she finally made a few connections with members, attended their events, and she allowed them to get to know her it made her journey so much easier.

So when is a goo time to pledge at the alumnae/alumni level? Well, there are a few questions you need to ask yourself.

1. Why do you want to become a member?
   Is it a longing that you have had for years and years but did not have the opportunity?
  Were you not financially stable to make that commitment? (It is expensive)
  Were you focused more on starting your career, and now that you have started your career you fell that you are ready?
  Is it something you never thought about before, but now for some reason you have this longing in your heart and finally make that step?

Or maybe it can be something entirely different that I didn't even mention. I always tell prospective members to figure out why they want to pledge before making that step. Evaluate and re-evaluate your reasons before taking that leap.

2. Do you realize how EXPENSIVE it is to become a member and to REMAIN a member? Membership in these organizations costs money.....a lot of money. I am not going to sugar coat it; I will just tell it like it is. The cost of membership varies from organization to organization, but at the end of the day, it cost money. Also please understand that membership does not stop AFTER you pay your initiation fee. Once you become a member, there are yearly dues that you must pay, some events that you must support financially and so on. If you feel you are not at a point to support the org of your choice, then wait. Wait until you are financially in a position to support the organization.

3. Are you still holding on to those college dreams/fantasies? Just......STOP...and DON'T!  It doesn't matter if you are 21-61-or 91, If you are seeking membership at the graduate level, then you are a COLLEGE GRADUATE! Now I am not saying that you can not go back to your alma mater to represent your organization during homecoming, but at the end of the day, you are NOT a member of that college chapter. I have seen this so SOOOO many occasions. Folks were trying to pledge XYZ org didn't get either picked, or the chapter was suspended, so they join as SOON as they graduate. Nothing wrong with that, except some of these folks, go BACK to their alma mater and try to "act as if" they are from that chapter. Now don't get me wrong, your membership is no better than the membership of those who pledged at your alma mater, HOWEVER doesn't fake the funk as if you were a part of that chapter. This may sound crazy, but BELIEVE ME, I have seen it happen!

4. You saw XYZ doing amazing things in the community, and you want to attach your name to that particular organization. Nothing wrong with that.

5. You are a legacy, you want to make your mom/grandmother, father/grandfather proud!

6. It's on your bucket list and something you want to cross off your list.

Now there may be many other reasons for why you wish to join at the grad level, but I guess the main point I want to get across is you need to make sure you understand your reasoning of why you want to join.

One you realize that you want to join, you have your finances in order, then what's next???

Making your interests known is a GREAT start. Now I don't mean that you have to walk up to a member and say; Hello, my name is________ and I want to be a ________. That is not a good idea. What I mean however is attending different events, volunteering at community service events when possible. Striking up a conversation at a few of these events if the opportunity presents itself, etc.  For years, I have been saying how important it is for them to get to know you and for you to get to know them.  Remember that this is sisterhood/brotherhood that you are joining.

More Than Just Strolls, Calls, Hand Signs, and Colors

Today was a day I decided to reflect on the meaning of true sisterhood, and how I feel about being a member of one of the Top African-American Organization. As I rolled out of bed this morning, I geared myself up for the day's events. This included attending the first Delta Chapter meeting of the year, first Sigma Alpha Iota Chapter E-Board meeting of the year, and the first meeting of ASTA. When I decided to join a sorority, I had my heart set on wanting to join the ranks of an organization that was about Sisterhood, giving back to the community, and making a difference. Participating in Greek Step Shows, Going to Parties connecting with sorors from across the globe for me is just the "icing on the cake."

When I was a college freshman, watching the Greeks on the yard was a fantastic site to see.  The Alpha's stepping in their Black and Gold, AKA's looking pretty and meticulous in their pink and green, the Q's stepping harder than ANYONE with dog tags around their necks, and hopping carrying on to the infamous "Atomic Dog," and so on...... Although to some, this is their first introduction to Greek Life, that was not the case for me.

The reason for this post is to state that being a member of a BGLO is more than strolls/struts, calls, hand-signs, and colors. Most of these "traditions" are considered unofficial and did not come into existence until decades AFTER the organizations were founded. What prompts this post was after when I found myself speaking to a group of young collegiate who were stating their reasons why they wanted to join the various Greek organization. I have heard everything from, "they are the best steppers on campus, they get big "play" (I didn't even know they still use this word) at parties. They go on to say other Greek Orgs on campus will notice them.  They want to be a part of the pretty girls; they seem so cool and down to earth, etc. Never once did I hear, I want to join because they have the highest GPA on campus, they won student organization of the year, love the community service projects that they are currently involved in, etc. I find this funny because it never fails, when it comes down to the interview process, their answers change.

If you are joining at the collegiate level, I get it! Trust Me! You are getting admired on campus by your peers, standing out in a crowd because of those letters.  But being a member of a Black Greek Letter Org is more than just the college experience. What is life like after you graduate? For the first few years, you may find yourself going back to your school to connect with people that are still there — your prophytes that pledged you, or your neos that you pledged. You want to keep it cute at your school's step shows, homecoming, reunions, etc.  Hey, I get it! I have been there. Or you might find yourself NOT going back for several years because you are trying to secure a job, career, and start your adult life. Student loans are knocking HARD at your door six months after you graduated, so you are trying to make sure you have a job to make that first of many payments. Some members of BGLOs continue to serve in their organizations, and some take a break for financial reasons. (As I have stated before, being a financial member in a BGLO can be pricey, no need to sugar coat it)!

Now can you have fun afterward?  Absolutely!

Sister, Sister Greek Episode

             

I came across this episode online, and it brought back SO MANY MEMORIES! I will never forget when it first aired. I was in college, and I had my VCR (YES VCR) set to tape all of the Sister, Sister episodes. I was staying in the same dormitory hall as my boyfriend (Now hubby) at the time, and since he didn't have a TV, I gave him my TV and VCR since I spent a lot of time in his room. I stayed on a floor above him, and my roommate had TV, and he was an RA (Residential Assistant) with a single room. My roommate had a TV, so I had no problem allowing him to use my TV and VCR.

At any rate Sister, Sister uses to come on Sundays on this particular night I went to a Sigma Alpha Iota Rush, so I didn't have time to watch the episode when it aired. The next Morning I came downstairs to my boyfriend's room to watch Sister, Sister, and I started to scream when I saw those BEAUTIFUL letters across the screen. Delta Sigma Theta. My poor husband almost fell out the bed (HE was still sleeping, and didn't realize I was in the room) from my screaming. I was like OMG, A Greek episode. You have no idea how many times I watched this episode and kept it on tape. I even went as far as taking the taps off the VCR tape to ensure that I wouldn't accidently erase the tape. According to my husband, I am SUCH as Greek-head. (He has been calling me that for YEARS)

I love this episode and want to share it with you! It brought back SO many https://youtu.be/M1F0lBnsnkE of me sitting on my hubby's bed back in college, grinning from ear to ear. I just KNEW that Tia and Tamarra were going to pledge a Greek letter org while they were at Pepperdine University. I guess I was wrong.