Chapter Suspension/Probation

So you are interested in joining XYZ org, and you just found out that they are either suspended /or on probation. So what's a girl/guy to do? Nothing! I am sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but if the organization that you want to join is suspended and or on probation then there is absolutely nothing you can do. In some cases there are fines that need to be paid, and more than likely you will have to wait until the time has passed. Most BGLOs have now posted information regarding chapters that are either on suspension or on probation. I would suggest that you visit their national website to see if your chapter is listed.

In the meantime, continue your community service, focus on your academics, getting involved on your college campus. You can also join the organization of your choice at the Alumnae Level. There is also a chance that the chapter might come back on campus before you graduate.

If the chapter's suspension is up, and the fines have been paid and they are still not on campus, then your next step is to contact the nearest alumnae chapter in the area. Chances are, they will have a say on if they want the chapter to return. Sending a friendly email, or a phone call stating your interest is the first steps.

"The Interview"

I received quite a few questions around "the interview process." If you receive an interview to join an organization, chances are your packet was complete, and congrats are in order because you made it to the next step! People that do NOT receive an interview typically have an incomplete packet and are not granted an interview.


Timing Once you have completed your interview, the waiting begins....Depending on the chapter, the wait can be very VERY long! This can be due to how many people the chapter needs to interview, the voting process, and verifying other qualifications (such as letter of recommendations from community service, and LOR from an active member (for example for Delta you have to you are required to provide a letter of rec from a financial member).

I have seen cases where the interview process ALONE can take up to TWO weeks, and after each interview is completed, the verification process begins. So if you have interviewed for a fraternity and/or sorority and haven't heard anything, don't freak out! Chances are they are still going through the motions of verifying info, still interviewing prospective members, get approval from the regional director, etc...

After the interview, I would recommend that you keep yourself busy oppose to stressing out about getting chosen. You will end up pulling your hair out if you don't.

Most chapters will inform you in a form of a letter if you you were not chosen for membership.

Fraternity Sweethearts....Will this help my chances of getting picked???

Alpha Angels/Sweethearts, Sigma Doves, Que Essence/Pearls, Kappa Diamonds/Sweethearts,... etc.... Depending on your college, many fraternities have what are known as "sweetheart" organizations. Prior to a few years ago, these organizations were maintained by the fraternity. Now they have all became "incorporated" and have distant themselves from fraternities all together. Back when I was in school, many girls thought that if they wanted to be Deltas, then they had a better chance by pledging/joining "Que Essence/Pearls. Let me stress that joining these auxiliary groups will NOT put you a step closer in becoming a member of the sorority of your choice. On the contrary in SOME cases it may hurt you. There are some cases where girls just want to join these sweetheart groups simply because of the love they have for a particular fraternity. For the most part however, I have seen so many cases where women feel that they NEED to join these auxiliary groups in order to become a member of its "sister" (and I use this term loosely since the only TRUE brother and sister Greek Organization is Phi Beta Sigma and Zeta Phi Beta)

How do I feel about these orgs? Well considering my stance of being an Alpha Sweetheart, I think joining them can be a great thing as long as you are doing it for the RIGHT reasons! For some like myself it means helping the fraternity out by volunteering your services (helping run programs, community service, helping out with voter registrations drives, etc..) But as I stated before it REALLY depends on your college campus. I have seen it where the Sigma Doves and the Zetas HATED each other. When the Sigma Carnations (sweethearts) crossed over, the Sigma gave them jackets, with line names, numbers and they hung out with the Sigmas all the time. Even at Greek parties the Sigma sweethearts would stroll with the Sigmas. This would cause so much confusion because people would sometimes confuse the sweethearts for Zetas. As you can imagine the Zetas were not happy about this at all.

So here is some advice, before joining a sweetheart organization, do some research. If you find you really want to be a member of Zeta Phi Beta, and they despise the Sigma Sweethearts, then maybe it's not a good idea to join the sweetheart organization. Petty I know, but remember we ARE women and women CAN BE petty! I recall at one particular school where there was a huge conflict between the Deltas and the Que Sweethearts!

Sweethearts can also include MEN auxiliary groups as well. There are MIAKAs, Delta Gents, Rhomeos, etc....Joining these groups will NOT guarantee you a spot in the fraternity of your choice as well.

Remember, although joining an auxiliary group can be fun and exciting for college, it's not worth sacrificing your desire in joining a Sorority or Fraternity if there is a conflict with the sorority of your choice.

You've Been Accepted!!!!

It's that time of year again, and I felt the need to post a blog and CONGRATULATE those who have received an invitation to join the organization of their choice. If this is you and you have been following my blog, I would love to hear from you. So with that being said.....

CONGRATS! Your dreams have finally come true! You can't believe it, you were FINALLY accepted and within the next few days you will become an MIT (Member in Training,, back in the day we use to call this a "pledge") You are overcome with emotion and you can't believe that in a few weeks, or months (depending on your organization and/or process) you will be a member of the organization you dreamed about.

As much as you would like to shout it to the world, call your family, friends, boo, roommate, etc...I would advise against it. Instead take this time to prepare yourself for what you are about to face ahead. If you are a student, your life is about to change because your study habits are going to increase drastically. Although I can't speak for all organizations, I can tell you that the Tests that you have to take AND pass for Delta is NO JOKE! I swear I felt as if I was taking the ACTs/SATs all over again. If you are joining an alumnae chapter, time management will be your best friend. Although I didn't pledge (or join) Delta through an alum chapter, I can only imagine trying to balance a family, work, and school (if you attend school part-time) household, et.c....... But many before you have done it SUCCESSFULLY, so I am sure you will have no problems fitting it all in your schedule.

Once again congratulations, and I hope you treasure and value your process. I know I did and wouldn't change one thing about it! Learning all that valuable information about my organization, my beloved founders, and my chapter was an experience that I will never forget.

Do I have to learn how to step????

I have received quite a few emails from aspirants asking if they have to already know how to step or learn how to step in order to join a Black Greek Letter Organization, so I decided to write a blog about stepping.

Stepping is one of the perks of joining most undergrad chapters and a few graduate chapters have step teams. So first you may ask "What is Stepping?"

"Stepping is a form of percussive dance in which the participant's entire body is used as an instrument to produce complex rhythms and sounds through a mixture of footsteps, spoken word, and hand claps. Though stepping may be performed by an individual, it is generally performed by groups of three or more, often in arrangements that resemble military formations. The tradition of African American stepping is rooted within the competitive schoolyard song and dance rituals practiced by historically African American fraternities and sororities, beginning in the mid-1900."

Stepping is fun, exciting, hard work and a great way to advertise your organization.
At my college, we would always host a "yard step show" at the beginning of the school year to show off our "stuff" to the incoming freshmen and transfer students. I have been involved in tons of Stepshows both as a member AND as a step-master and a judge. I enjoy stepping because its another way to create close bond with your sorority sisters and/or fraternity brothers. Practices can be long and tiring but the end result is worth it. (Especially if you have a few pounds to lose, because believe you me, you will lose weight practicing steps).

Stepping is an extra-curricular activity and is NOT a requirement for membership.

When will they have a line????

Will they have a Fall Line? Spring Line? A line every year? Next Year? I know you are anxiously awaiting to see that "special flyer" that says "Rush and/or Informational.

Trying to figure out when the chapter is going to have intake can be exhausting, and stressful. There is NO way you will ever know if and when the chapter will be having a membership intake process. In some cases, some chapter will host MIP only during spring, or fall, or I have also seen it where they decided not have a line at all for that particular time. And I have seen cases where a chapter that typically have a fall line, for many many years, decided to change it up and have a spring line. Having a "line" (as people call them) really depends on the chapter, if they receive approval from the chapter's advisor, regional director, etc. There is a lot of "behind the scenes" that has to take place before the chapter can even decide to have a membership intake process.

I know many people try to follow the whole " well, they normally have a line during the odd years, or even years, or only in the fall , or spring." My advice? Don't follow these trends, because you never know,,,,the chapter just might switch it up a bit.

Ciao!

Letter of Recommendation.... Part II

I have been receiving a lot of emails about how and/or who to ask for a letter of recommendation, so I decided to post a blog about "Letter of Reccomendation Part II"

As I stated before, this letter should be from a financial member of the organization that knows you well enough to speak about your personality, character, and can express their opinions on how you will be a great asset to the organization. I would advise that you NEVER ask someone you barely know, to write you a letter of recommendation. Not only will that person NOT write you one, but you may get your feelings hurt by even asking them.

Also, asking an old friend that you haven't spoken to in a while, or barely spoken to is also not a good option as well. I have experience both ends of the spectrum. I received quite of few females, who have followed me on my blog, or I have answered a question or two that they posted on yahooanswers ask me to write them a letter of recommendation. This is NOT a good thing. I will not write a letter of rec for anyone I do NOT know. Now do I have to meet you in person to know you? NO! There are some girls that I have established a relationship with over the net, and if they asked me to write them one, then I would possibly think about it.

Okay WHEN should you ask for letter? AFTER RUSH! Do NOT ask for a letter way before hand....Most chapters will say that they need for the person to DATE the letter, so trying to over-prepare and get a letter of rec before you even attend the rush is NOT a good idea. I will however suggest that you ask the person beforehand IF they will write you a letter of recommendation when the time comes. But asking them to write you one now, and you haven't even attended a rush, is not a good option.

What will the person include in the letter? Well that's really up to the person and the chapter. A Letter of recommendation for joining a sorority is the same as applying for college, or grad school. By that I mean, when you receive the letter of recommendation, in MOST cases they organization will ask that you provide the letter in a SEALED envelope with the person's signature written across the back of the letter. So I say that to say this, make sure you ask someone that you are not only comfortable with, but someone who will praise you throughout the letter.

I had a situation where a very close friend of mine asked me for a LOR....I haven't spoken to her in a long time other than a text for my birthday. I declined writing her a letter because we haven't truly spoken to each other in years, and I really didn't feel comfortable writing her one, since we have lost touch with one another and I couldn't really comment on her personality, and/character.

I hold my organization very near and dear to my heart, and it takes a VERY special person for me to write them a letter of recommendation. There was another case where a girl really wanted to be a delta ALL for the wrong reasons....It's like she planned her whole schooling simply around pledging the organization. Although I LOVED and admired the love she had for Delta, I felt that she wanted to be a delta all for the wrong reasons. She often talked about stepping, oo-ooping, strolling/strutting, wearing the letters, etc....Sure Delta does all of that, ,and I will oo-oop in a min, but that is NOT what Delta is all about. When she asked me for a letter of recommendation, I simply asked her why she wanted to be a delta. I did NOT like her answer and told her that I could not write her a LOR because she is joining for the wrong reasons. She became angry with me, and told me that she thought of all people she thought I would understand how BAD she wanted this because she recalled how I wanted to be one as well. In the long run, she ended up finding another soror to write her a letter of recommendation, and just as I thought, she was only active for 2 years. She complains about the dues being so high, yet she rocks the latest and hottest designers in a second. She says she doesn't have time to go to the meetings, and to our community service events, yet she is the first person there and the last person to leave at a step show, or a Greek party. Case in point? I was right on the $$ even though I truly wished I was wrong. She was what we call a T-Shirt wearer (I will go into detail about this on another blog)

So I say that to say this,,,,When asking a person to write you a LOR, do not take offense if they decline. It is THEIR choice if they want to write you a LOR or not. If they decline, then keeps it moving until you find someone who will write you a glowing letter. Besides wouldn't you prefer them to decline in writing you a letter of recommendation, oppose them writing you one, sealing it up only to find out that their letter was NOT what you expected? (For example, we had one girl who brought in her sealed LOR and the soror wrote in her letter to NOT accept her in the sisterhood...I was in pure shock when I read that, but she gave some valid reasons)

Case in point; be careful and mindful who you ask to write you a letter of recommendation.

Cia for now!