Monday, July 20, 2009

My Journey with Greek Life!!!!




I have decided to create a blog since I have found myself answering hundreds of "Black Greek" questions on Yahoo answers. (I think I have answered 600 questions about Greek Life) For those that want to check them out, just type in "delta sigma theta" and my username is "DableST1" and you will find the questions that I have answered in the past. The questions range from "I wanna be a Delta, what do I need to do" What do I need to wear to an interview?  I am torn between AKA and Delta, Is Greek Life for me?, My mom is in Sorority A, but I want to join Sorority B, what do I do? What is a Rush, and what happens there? etc..... I have been answering questions on yahoo.answers.com for about three years now, and one of my sorors thought that since I have helped SO many people (men and women) about Greek organizations that I should create a blog. So here I am!

I felt that my First Blog should be about my experience in Greek Life. Why do I know so much about Greek? How did I get involve? What was my life before, during, and AFTER I crossed?

Please note that every Blog after this one will just focus on general info about Greeks. (What to expect, what to wear to Rush/Information, Doing Research, How to get noticed, What to do, What not to do, etc.)

I decided to dedicate myself to helping those who are interested in Greek life for many reasons. For one, I remember being on the other side of the fence. Thankfully, I had a few people that were "nice" to me and was able to answer the 1000's questions that I had. Back then (and shoot still now) I kept a journal of all my conversations that I had with my now sorors, other Greeks, and my feelings in general about joining the Greek family. I understand that there are tons of people out there that come from " the first generation to go to college" and the minute they step on that college campus, this is the first time they are introduced to Greek Life. Although I was the first one in my immediate family that showed interest in Greek life, I come from a ton of cousins in the Blue and White Family (Zeta Phi Beta Sorority Inc, and Phi Beta Sigma Fraternity Inc), one SGRho, a few Omega Psi Phi, and several AKAs.

My Delta Knowledge
I knew I wanted to be a Delta since the age of 14. My best friend knew that she wanted to be an AKA. So we decided to embark on this journey and learn as much as we could about both of these organizations. I remember the both of us riding the 108 Halsted Bus heading North on Halsted to Woodson Library. We both hid in the back and looked up as many books as possible about Black Greek Life and Delta and AKA. I remember spending hours there, and although we did not find a lot of information at the time about Black Greek Organizations (Divine Nine by Lawrence C Ross, and In Search of Sisterhood were written years later). During that time, we both thought that we both did not have any Greeks in our family.
I didn't know many Deltas and the only one I knew at the time was my ex-boyfriend's sister. Now that I think about it, I remember when I use to go to his house, how I would sneak off into her room and put on her Delta hat. Aaah... I still remember those BEAUTIFUL letters across the top, and I would hold up the sorority sign in the mirror. *smile* (She no longer resided at home but left some items behind) My ex at the time was interested in joining Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity Inc., so he was preparing himself for that journey as well. I remember feeling envious because he had a cousin who was also an Alpha. One afternoon we went over to his cousin's house, and his cousin gave him a Black and Gold Alpha book. He also told him if he had any questions to reach out to him. I was thinking to myself, WOW, I wish I had that kind of connection with my family. I recall voicing my concerns to him at the time, and he told me that I could reach out to his sister who would be willing to answer any questions that I might have. I was extremely shy and even though his sister was the coolest, down to earth person, I couldn't fathom having an "I wanna be a Delta, what steps do I need to take" type conversation with her. I even remember when he and I attended the Delta Derby one summer, and I ran into an old high school friend who graduated three years before me, and I saw her in the Delta Line Strolling/Strutting with her sorors. My boyfriend told me this was a perfect opportunity to connect with her, and once again my shyness took over. Thankfully, my Best Friend, who also went to high school with us remembered the classmate as well. I should also mention that she ALSO wanted to be a Delta. Unlike myself, she wasn't shy at all and went up to give her a hug. When my classmate recognized me, she gave me a huge hug and asked how I was doing. That gave me an opportunity to connect with her, and my ex-seized this opportunity to step away so I could speak to her alone. Thankfully his best friend who just crossed Omega Psi Phi was also present at the party, so he was able to party with him. He was right. I finally got the courage of telling her my heart's desires, and she embraced me, gave me her number and told me to call her to connect. I was thrilled that night. He asked me was I comfortable enough to now call his sister to ask questions, and I told him I was. I went home and wrote his sister's number in my Search of Sisterhood book so I would never forget it.

I will never forget the day that I called her. I have spoken to her many times before, but this time was different. I had a million butterflies in my stomach. I was SOOOO scared to call her, even though she was expecting a phone call from me since my ex-boyfriend told her I would be calling soon. I finally got the nerve to call her. So glad I did. She was Soooooo helpful in answering the many questions that I had regarding her sorority. She gave me some great advice on how to become a member, told me the requirements, and said that if I had any future questions or if I needed anything to feel free to connect with her. She had a lot of knowledge about Greek Life because she was a Delta, an Alpha Angel, and her Husband was a Kappa. I remember feeling happy when I got off the phone with her. She is one of the main reasons why I decided to help as many prospects that want to join my org. She was beautiful, sweet, kind, and gave it to me straight! A week later I connected with the soror from my high school as well, and as my ex- boyfriend's sister, she was calm and very perceptive in answering my questions. I was on cloud nine that summer.

Some people in Sororities act snobbish after they joined, but both of these ladies were mad cool, and down to earth. But the key is, is that I took that first step in calling them. Another soror that was cool believes it or not was someone I met over the internet. I met her on a site called DeltaNet, and I told her I was interested in joining the org. After chatting with her for about three months online via email, she gave me her phone # and asked me to give her a call. I still talk to her to this day and the first time I met her face to face was when I invited her to attend my wedding! How COOL is that?? (Because of her I have a few cyber-friends that I can NOW call sorors.

Freshman Year in College

Aaahhh- I remember that glorious first day of school. Like most of you, I couldn't wait to dive right in and meet my dorm mate, find out where my classes were, and.....Yes, you guessed it, find out where the Greeks hung out. I was a music major (Classical) and the school that I was attending, there was only one other Black Student that was a music major. (I went to a predominantly White school) So it was challenging. At most colleges and universities, you meet a lot of your life long friends in your classes, your roommate/suitemate and people in your dormitory. For my first year in college, I decided to live on the "music floor" in my dorm. Other than myself, there was only one Black Girl on my floor. The music floor was co-ed, (by room of course) and I enjoyed living with other music majors because we were able to go to class together, study together, and talk about music in general. The only challenge I had been that I was the only person interested in Social Greek Life. Everyone else was Sooooo into their music, and creating clubs that focused on Music Theory, Analyzing, Music History and Auditioning for Operas, the orchestra, musicals, and so on. The only Greek Organizations they were interested in joining were Phi Mu Alpha, Kappa Kappa Psi, Tau Beta Sigma and Sigma Alpha Iota. These are all music organizations, and although I had my heart on pledging a music org as well, I had my heart set on becoming a member of DST first! Pledging a social Greek org was SO far from their minds. That was a challenge for me because I quickly realized that it meant going to Greek events alone, Rush/Informational alone, and Greek Parties by myself as well. But you know what? I did it!

My First BGLO Experience

My first main BGLO event, I tried to get one of my dear friend, Monroe (she was the only other Black Person in my dorm) to attend an event with me, and she said she couldn't...She had plans. So once again, I was stuck going by myself. The event was at Columbia College, which was down the street (walking distance) from my university. The Deltas were giving a forum, and I thought it was an interesting event to attend. After the event had ended, I was too shy to go up to the deltas individually and introduce myself, so I left. I was sad because I felt like I missed my opportunity. As I was walking home, I kept thinking to myself how on earth can come out of this simple shell so they can get to know me? I remember walking back to my dorm extremely disappointed. It was SOOOOOO hard because from those that knew me, KNOW that I am the SHYEST person in the world (I still am to a certain extent). I knew that I had to get over my shyness if I wanted to join this great org. What pushed me was knowing that even if I met the requirements, I still needed the majority chapter's vote to get invited to join the org. So it was important that these ladies knew who I was!

About a month later I started signing up for organizations and getting more involved. The chapter that I was hoping to join was a city-wide chapter in Chicago, which meant it included several universities from the city. I looked for posters and flyers for events; I volunteered my services when they had community service projects coming up, and I even had the courage to go up to their table during Rush Week to introduce myself. *HUGE STEP FOR ME* especially since the epic fail from the first event I attended the few weeks before. Although the chapter was a HUGE chapter and included a lot of other universities, my School (Roosevelt) was not represented well with members, so I had to make my face known by attending events at other schools in the area. I also didn't know anyone in the organization, and I knew I had to change that, and quick!

I finally made a breakthrough. It was my birthday, and one of my close friends from my dorm Julia asked me to come downstairs with her because she had a package from her mom that she needed help carrying. I went downstairs, and much to my surprise the package was a surprise B-Day gift that my ex-boyfriend sent to her for my Birthday present. It was something I have always wanted; a violin! I started crying, not realizing that there were Deltas in the lobby. They came over to see what the ruckus was, and I stood there silent like an idiot. I was intimidated because they all had on DST Paraphernalia from head to toe. My good friend Julia jumped in and told them how my ex sent her this violin as a birthday gift to me and how she secretly met w/his dad a few days before to surprise me with a birthday party, cake and all. She went on and on telling them how my ex was going to school in Florida but wanted to surprise me with the party and together they were secretly planning this for me. They (the Deltas the lobby) told us how sweet and thoughtful that was, and wished me a Happy Birthday. I finally stepped out of my shell, by thanking them and asking them if they wanted any of my birthday cake. I then took the opportunity to ask them about the fliers they put up. One of them remembered me from the previous event that I attended a few weeks before. I was happy, and I asked them if they had Deltas on my campus.  They told me they did not, and are hoping to get some sorors on campus in the future. I gave them a HUGE smile and was thinking, maybe this will be my chance.

I knew I couldn't pledge my first year because you had to sit out a year before becoming a Delta. So in the meantime I worked hard to go to their events and to get to know members of the chapter. It all came to a crashing end, because after two years at my university, for personal reasons I decided to leave. It was SOOOOO hard because I had established a rapport with the sorors on campus, and was happily waiting for Rush. I had a lot of thinking to do. Do I pledge at this school and transfer to another school? If I pledged at my current university, would that hurt my relationship with my ships (oh yeah ships is a Midwest term, I think everywhere else they say LB or LS, which is line sister/brother). Will the sorors accept me at the new school if I cross at my old school and leave?? I decided against it and to hold off and try to pledge at my new school.

Starting over from scratch - When I first stepped on the college campus it was HARD! The Deltas were the "IT" girls on campus, and it seemed like everyone wanted to be one. My heart broke, and I knew that more than likely I would have to sit out another year because no one knew who I was. I remember sitting in my room and making the decision that although I was a transfer student, I will do everything in my power to get noticed on campus. And that's exactly what I did. When the first day of classes started, I changed my look, and I was already a stylish person since I use to work at Marshall Fields back at home and spent the majority of my paychecks on clothes. I attended ALL of the events on campus, joined dozens of organizations, and I put my face out there. I remember them being in one of the buildings and they were having a fundraiser selling old skool candy for their scholarship fund. I walked up to them gave them $20, asked for two small items, and told them that I was donating the rest to their scholarship fund. I then introduced myself to the people who eventually became my Big Sisters. I am sure after receiving $20 from me for a .50 pickle and a .10 peppermint they took noticed on who I was!

Transferring was a great thing for me. New school, new chapter, new boyfriend, a new beginning. My new boo was interested in becoming an Alpha (I don't know why I am attracted to Alphas or wannabe Alphas), and the Alphas were VERY interested in him. Like myself, my boyfriend was involved on campus as much as I was, or probably more. We met when I attended Gospel Choir Rehearsal, and he was also the leader of the weekly bible study that I attended regularly. When I first met him, I thought the way he carried himself that he was already an Alpha. For some reason, I always envisioned marrying an Alpha man and the fact that he was interested in joining this distinguish organization was incredible. The first real taste of Greek life I encountered was when he went what we called "online" for Alpha. A lot of "late nights" and we weren't together as much. It was hard because we were like peanut butter and jelly, we meshed together. Folks used to call us the ideal couple on campus. I'm talking every time you saw him; you saw me and vise versa. . When his process interrupted our "time" together, it made me think if my process would be similar to his. For him, it was time-consuming, and we went from spending 80 percent of our time together, to about 10 percent because he was busy all the time. I took this time that we had apart to polish myself for next semester/year in hopes that they would have a rush. I was also thankful that he pledged because if I were ever able chosen, then our lack of time together would not be an issue for our relationship since he understood the demands of pledging a Black Greek Organization. Four months later, he had his probate show/death march. I was SO excited for him and nervous at the same time. Will I get the same opportunity to pledge? Will this happen for me? I remember the love he received from the entire campus as everyone surrounded him and his ship (aka line brother) as they spit out alpha history, his chapter history, Invictus, tributes, greetings, etc. Not only were they surrounded by other students at our school, but there were other Alpha Chapters cheering him and his ship on from other sites as well. The entire experience was surreal, and I was so happy and thrilled for him. At the same time I was wondering, when is my turn?

After having a "Greek" boyfriend, his life changed drastically. He was well known and popular before, but once he became and Alpha he was like a Superstar. And not only on his campus but all the surrounding schools as well. He got right to work as an Alpha becoming the chapter's president, being the delegate for his chapter at Regional Conventions, etc. As he was doing his work for Alpha, I started gearing up my goal towards Delta. I was in a lot of organizations on campus, held various positions in organizations, and I tried my best to get my name out there. People were taking notice of who I was. That shy girl that I described before disappeared. I was on a mission, and my boyfriend/now husband made me realize that EVERYONE wants to be a Delta, so I need to set myself apart from everyone else. And that is precisely what I did. What's funny is that I remember walking on campus and being approached by one particular female. She told me that "they" have been watching me on campus and wanted to invite me to an "invitation only" interest meeting. My heart was beating soo fast. Is this it? Is this the org that I have been secretly wanted to enter in since sophomore year in H.S.? My heart broke when she handed me a Pink piece of paper with Green writing. Sure I was honored because I know how HARD it is also to become a member of AKA, and I had friends back at home that longed to belong to this organization. However, it was not my choice, so I thanked her but declined. I remember wishing, "Dang, why couldn't she have been a Delta?"


Will they have a line? -The fall semester came and went, and I went home for Christmas break with my stomach tied in knots. People were on edge wondering if the Deltas were going to have a Spring Line. And then that day came. I was in the Student Union, and I saw the famous Red and White Banner that said" Coming Soon, Are you ready?" And that’s all it said. But I apparently knew that they were talking about their upcoming rush. I remember running home telling my then boyfriend now husband about how excited I was! He said that now is the time for me to make sure I get my stuff together. I was there every step of the way when he became an Alpha, so I wondered if my process would be similar? Different? I had tons of questions, and no one to ask. He couldn't answer them because although he was Greek, he was not a Delta. My husband supported me 100% and wanted to make sure I was fully prepared for the process. I have been doing community service since H.S. non-stop and already had the proof of it on letterhead from each organization. I had stuff ranging from Big Sister, Habitat for Humanity, United Way, Volunteering at the Woodson Library back home, Tutoring, etc... I had well over 1000 hours of community service under my belt. My GPA was a 3.89, I was on the Dean's List and a part of the honors college, and I was in some leadership roles at school. The only thing was getting a letter of Recommendation from an ACTIVE member of Delta. I asked my ex-boyfriend's sister if she could write me two years prior while we were still dating but she told me as much as she would have loved to write me one, she couldn't because she was inactive at the time. I also couldn't locate my old high school classmate because the number that she gave me back then was no longer in service. Thankfully, at my previous school, I established a close bond with the Delta Sorors on campus, and one of them was more than happy to write me one.

-Rush- Boy was that a stressful day! I have prepared for this day what seemed like forever. I went and got my hair done, mani-pedi, eyebrows arched; I bought a BRAND new suit as well as looked over my "In Search of Sisterhood" book again. Although by then I have read the book over 12 times, I wanted to be on point with the information that I've learned. I also studied who the current officers in the chapter, which the charter members were of the chapter, Learned the chapter's history, and spoke to my boyfriend asking him to wish me luck. We said a nice long prayer and then I was off. When I got there, I noticed that I was one of the only ones there aside from the members. I went to the Rush with a person that I became friends with, but when we arrived at the event, we wanted to come in separately, so I went in first. As my mother always say, "To be on time is to be late" so I arrived 30 mins before the event. I made an effort to speak to every single Delta in the room, using eye contact and took a seat in the front row. I don't think I have ever in my life been THAT nervous. About 15 mins later the room began to fill up with nervous prospects. As I waited patiently, I wonder if I was chosen who would be online with me as my eyes gazed throughout the room. That made me nervous. My friend and I spoke on the phone the night before, and boy we talked late into the night of how exciting it would be if we were both picked and ships!!!! She did warn me that it is SOOOO Hard to get picked on that campus and that the chances of getting selected on the first try were VERY slim! At that point, I erased it from my mind and told myself that if I didn't get picked, I chalked it up that I was new on campus and that they didn't know me. I also made a vow that I would try the very next year again. There were a lot of people that showed up to the rush to the point where the Deltas had to go to the rooms next door to retrieve more chairs. At 7:13 on the dot they locked the doors. Unfortunately, some girls showed up AFTER the doors were closed and they were turned away. There were well over 100 people that attended Rush that evening, which is a very nice crowd considering I attended a PWI (Predominantly White Institution). I was told that out of all the four sororities; Delta always gets the most people at their rush.I was told that this is the average number of people that attends rush for this chapter. However, the average line is 10. The reality of only picking 10 out of 100 made me nervous; that's only 10 percent. I was just praying that my background, GPA, community service, and campus involvement was enough to get me chosen.

The Rush was very sweet, classy, and informative. I think I impressed what I had hoped to be my future sorors by knowing a lot about the org and the chapter. We had to introduce ourselves, and they introduced themselves to us. They gave us the necessary information needed to pledge the organization and had a Q& A session. We played a lot of games of "When did, Who were, Who are, How did, etc...And I answered all of them correctly. Some of the girls were looking at me like -Wow- you have done your homework. I was SO proud of that, but wanted to make sure I didn't come off as being cocky! At the end of rush, they invited us to stick around for cake and punch. I ceased this opportunity not only to chat with the members but talk to the prospective members as well. I stayed around to see if they needed help cleaning up, and told them I enjoyed myself and the activities. For some reason the intimidation that I once had disappeared. I think the reason was that I utilized my boyfriends/husband's advice. He said, although you want to appear humble, you have to convince yourself that they need YOU, and not the other way around. Utilizing this advice helped me a great deal with by dealing with my shyness/fear. (I now approach every single vocal audition like this as well, thanks, babes)

-Interview- I will never forget when I got the call that I was granted an interview. Before then I couldn't eat, sleep or think and every time the phone would ring, my heart would skip a beat. I was so nervous/scared/hopeful and everything in-between..... I went out and bought a NICE gray suit matched with my white and black fur jacket that my boyfriend got me for Christmas. I wanted to be ONE CLEAN SISTAH going up in there. I made sure to give 100% eye contact, smile at each person, pause and gather my thoughts before answering questions, and I thanked them for the opportunity. I made a point that if chosen for membership, that I would be a HARD worker for Delta, not only at school but after I graduated from college. I told them that I realize pledging this organization is a lifetime commitment, and if given this opportunity I would make them proud. I felt very confident in my answers, but I couldn't read their faces. Only the chapter advisor smiled as I answered the questions whereas the chapter members were very stoic. Did they like me? Did they like my answers? I quickly erased negative thoughts from my mind and chalked it up as that's probably the way they treat every interviewee. I went home and said a prayer, hoping that God would give me this opportunity to join this organization. I realized that a lot of girls had the same desires as I had, and this chapter was VERY meticulous on who they picked for membership.

-Accepted- I was jumping up and down when I found I was chosen for membership! I shared an apartment with two other people and was thankful that I chose to have my room in case I was going to pledge. I had no clue what I was in for, and the word on the campus was the Deltas pledge hard. I realize that I should never believe the rumor mill, but I was nervous about what the process was going to be like. Out of 110 girls that applied, I was going to be one in NINE girls!!! I still can't believe that I made it! The greatest thing about this was out of nine of us, Me and one of my other ships were the ONLY two that was picked on the FIRST TRY! Wow- Everyone else applied and was denied the year before, and there was one of my ships that tried THREE times!!! I prayed for this for so long, and I couldn't believe it was finally coming true! I have wanted this since the young age of 14, and I still can't get over that not only was this going to happen to me, but I still couldn't get that it was on my first try. I was SO thankful and grateful that these ladies offered me this opportunity to become a part of their sisterhood.

-The Process - I just have three words....LongHard, and Rough!!! There was so much to learn and like a sponge I was soaking it all up. I bonded so well with my line sisters, my big sisters, and my pledge mom. But with that being said it was well WORTH IT!!! People ask me all the time if I had to do it all over again would I, and I would say YES, in a heartbeat. Although the road to Delta Land was a rough one and long one, it was worth it! It was hard trying to keep up with my classes, my grades and getting my studying done, but I was able to do it successfully! I enjoyed learning about Delta, My Chapter, and My Line Sisters, and My Big Sisters. At times, I get so emotional when I think about my process because all the ups and downs, and laughter along the way.

-Crossing- One of the best days of my life. I never knew how the air smelled different until that day. I was no longer a pyramid. They were no longer my Big Sisters, but my Sorors, and I was finally a full-fledged member of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority Inc. I still remember when I first did the call Oo-oop! It was long, loud, and filled with emotion! I cried as I hugged my Big Sisters, I cried as I hugged my Line Sisters, who by the way were no longer my Line Sisters but my Ships/Shippies! I never thought the day would come where I could do the call amongst sorors! I couldn't wait to get home to tell my boyfriend/hubby that I was one of him now; I was a GREEK! I also couldn't wait until the summer, so I could tell one of my best friend that I crossed over into Delta Land. She had NO clue that I was even online because I wanted to keep that as a secret until AFTER I became a member. She went to Howard and also wished to be a Delta. I was envious because she had an opportunity to join the chapter of ALL chapters.....Alpha Chapter! I couldn’t wait to get paraphernalia, put a Delta license plate on my car, do the call on campus to another soror, and to get ready to accept my new Name Neo or The Neo. It was wonderful!!!! I went from being a girl that very few people knew about everyone knowing who I was. We were given the line name, D.S. 9 MM (M.i.l.l.i.m.e.t.e.r.) and I was the Deuce of the line. My individual line name was Da' Assassin!

My Delta Work as an Undergrad - Upon returning to school, I was elected as chapter president. I wanted to uphold this honor, especially since the president before me was my spec (pronounced SPESH) I wanted to make myself available for prospective members, and I made a point to be approachable in school. I will always remember that year of being president and being taught how to lead the org from my prophytes.

Social - I never knew that being a Delta can make a person SO famous. I mean I had girls coming up to me like Hey Vicki, How are you doing today? Vicki, you look so cute today. Or Vicki where did you get those shoes??? My prophytes taught us how people would view you differently just because you have three letters across your chest, but I never knew to what extent. This DRASTICALLY changed when I became the president of my chapter. All of the Presidents of Greek Letter Organizations on my college campus have their names Phone # and Address in the phone book, and BOY did I get phone calls. I received invitations to lunch, dinner, and I had one girl call and asked me if I wanted something special for my neophyte. To this day, I still have those notes and letters from prospective members asking me about my respected organization. I was even receiving phone calls from girls from other schools. For some reason or another, Delta was not active at their chapters, and they wanted to connect with me and ask me many, many questions about my respected organization.

(Oh yeah, let me explain for those not from the Midwest. A Neophyte is a celebration of you crossing over into Greek Land but does not take place until the following year AFTER cross. Ours was that following February (I crossed that previous April).  During this time, the Neo's put on a show for the entire campus by renting out the Ballroom, dressing in long black gowns, being escorted by the man of their choice (my escort was my then boyfriend/now husband) and you put on a show. (Singing, Dancing, a unique presentation that we give to our Dean, and AD) We put on a step show, and unlike any other neophytes at our school, WE were the only ones that use to step in our dresses and high heels. Other Greeks would change clothes. , At the very end, the neos received gifts from our chapter sorors, then from Visiting Delta's from other chapters, then from each Greek org, and last but not least family and friends. When it's all over, we gather in a circle and sing the Delta Sweetheart song! I will NEVER forget my Neophyte! I have never received SO many gifts in my life! I received everything from jackets, coats, a Delta Barbie Doll with a Red Delta Convertible, Paddles, Shirts, Jewelry, Chairs, clothes, Delta Shoes, Glass Set, Book Covers, Pillow Cases, you name it I got it. It's also a tradition that when you cross over into Delta Land that you can NOT buy any paraphernalia until AFTER your neophyte. I HATED that rule, so I would beg my little sister to buy me stuff so I wouldn't break the rule. But After seeing all the beautiful gifts at my neophyte, I COMPLETELY understood why they made that rule.

***Side Note**** Neophytes are Now considered illegal in Delta, so I was blessed that I was able to experience mine before they outlawed them in the organization!

Okay back to social- I was also known as being a step master queen of my chapter, so when it came to step shows, my sorors looked to me to create them. I enjoyed creating new steps, concepts and ideas for my chapter. We often took them on the road winning various competitions. It was one experience I will NEVER forget!I was the master of making up Delta Strolls as well. Even to this day, My Husband and I would often put on some music in our family room and make up some strolls and stroll to the music. Also going on road trips to other schools, in other states were a blast as well! One thing I LOVE about being a part of this org is you will ALWAYS run into another soror!


First Convention- The summer after my crossing I was able to attend my First Delta National Convention. Wow and I thought crossing was my best experience with Delta. That all changed when I attended my first Convention. I never have in my life seen So many women in red. My chapter elected me to be the Voting Delegate for our chapter, and although I am from Chicago, (The Convention was in Chicago, IL) they paid for me to stay Downtown in a hotel since the meetings were eearrrrlllly in the mornings at 7:30. It was by far one of the most humbling experiences I have ever had. To see Vashti Murphy, Carol Mosley Braun, Dorothy Height, Cecily Tyson, and many of the other past National Presidents was excellent. I even had the chance to take pictures with out-going President Marcia Fudge, as well as incoming President Gwendolyn Boyd. The opening ceremony was so incredible. I had tears in my eyes. I never said the word "soror" so much! And I was happy to see we come in all shapes, sizes and colors. I remember going to dinner with some sorors we just met, and as we were crossing the street on Michigan Ave, we heard someone say "Hello Sorors." We looked around and didn't see anyone. They said it again, and it was then we realized that the group of Asians women was our sorors from Korea! We embraced them, gave them hugs, and apologized to them. It was one of my BEST experiences I have ever gone through being a Delta. It was also my first experience to witness how Delta handle's its business on a National Level. I knew I made the right choice in choosing this org. I made so many connections during that time and made life-long friends. Facebook wasn't around during this time. However, I was able to exchange phone numbers and email addresses. I still communicate with a lot of sorors this day.

Wedding -
One of the happiest days of my life! My husband to be and I decided to incorporate both Alpha and Delta in the Wedding. His groomsmen were his ship, pledge father, and Big Brothers. My hostesses were my Shippies. At the reception hall, it was wonderful to see my husband, and his frat gathers together and sings the "Alpha Hymn, followed by all of them strolling along to "The Big Payback" by James Brown. (An Alpha tradition in the Midwest). Then it was my turn. My eyes swelled up as my number six started singing "Calling all Sorors to the floor...hmmm mmm Delta, We got some here, but we need some more....hmmm hmmm Delta" As I sat in my reserved seat and my ships, big sisters, pledge mom, pledge daughters, and other sorors surrounded me in a circle, my heart was warm.....As they started off singing "She maybe an Omega Sweetheart.....I thought about the million times I have sung that song before, and usually I was the one that always performed the solo part...At Neophytes, Step shows, Founders Day, Other Weddings, and I couldn't believe that it was now being sung to me.....It was beautiful, and after they finished the song, and serenade me with a long, and loud OO-OOP, they pushed my chair aside, the DJ put on "We Are Family" (A Delta tradition in the Midwest), and I led the stroll off....It was wonderful! In the end, we all ended up taking a Greek Picture together. To top it off, I met my Delta Mentor, who I met over the internet for the first time at my wedding. It was wonderful to put a voice to a face finally, because when we first met, we chatted for many hours online, and then many hours over the phone.

-After College- As promised, I kept my word of always being active in the org. For the first few years, I became an MAL (Member at Large) I also decided to go from being a regular member to a Diamond-Life Member. I am now a member of an excellent Alumnae Chapter, and my husband who is also a Life Member is very active in his Alumni Chapter as well. Thankfully his Chapter meeting is on the same day as mine; the only mine is in the morning whereas his chapter meets in the evening. I love this org, and I am, happy that I was able to be a part of it. I include my membership on my resume, and in every single job I've had, I have been embraced not only from my sorors but Greeks in general. I love that we have so much love for one other. Being Greek has its advantages in getting you an interview, and in some cases a job. When I moved from my hometown to another state, and I reached out to sorors, the response was overwhelming. TONS of sorors from my new hometown contacted me asking me if I found a place to stay, inviting me out to dinner, offering to take me sight-seeing, and telling me all the HAPS in the Area. My husband is also very involved in his chapter as well. We both support each other events, and it's great to know that a lot of my sorors are married to his chapter members.

Memberships in these organizations are a lifetime commitment. Sure it's great to go to step shows, road trips, participate in step shows strolling/strutting, etc. BUT that is not what the founders had in mind when these organizations were created! Membership requires a lot of work, and I enjoy each and every day working for Delta.

Now that you know a little bit about me and my personal experience with Greek Life, I will start posting blogs in general in hopes of helping you all understand Greek life!

It's late and time for me to call it a night!

Peace and Love!

"V"

69 comments:

  1. I thank you soooo much for creating this blog. You have answered the only 2 questions I posted on Yahoo Answers regarding your illustrious organization. Although I have refrained from posting questions, kind of from fear, of expressing my desires on the Internet too much, I always check the forum for anything new and interesting about the organization that I desire to be a part of. If I wasn't in the habit of doing that, I wouldn't have found out about your blog. I look forward to reading your blog entries. I hope you post frequently. Thanks again for being open with us aspirants.

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  2. Thank you very much! One of my sorority sisters told me to create a blog since I am so active on yahooanswers. Please feel free to ask me any questions, either on the site or privately. I will be posting as frequent as possible. Also if you have any friends that are interested in Greek Life (This blog will NOT be all about Delta, but Greek in general INCLUDING fraternities) then please ask them to join my blog.

    I hope you find the information helpful!

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  4. Hey soror...I just stumbled across this blog. Excellent work. I could of used a blog like this :-)

    Steadfast
    #12
    22 Tenacious Pearls
    SP09
    Las Vegas Alumnae Chapter (LVAC)

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  5. Greetings Soror! So glad you left a comment, hit me up privatley I want to invite you to a soror only website that I created! It's a GREAT networking tool to connect with sorors across the globe! We have almost 1000 sorors so far, and we would love to have you!

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  6. Thank you soooo much for creating this blog. I am in the same position you once were. I am a transfer student trying to meet new people and become involved. As well as gain some community service hours, and keep my gpa at a 3.0 or higher. Your blog has become so helpful to me, and I really appreciate it. Hopefully, soon and very soon, I will be able to call you my soror. Thank you so much for shedding light on a cloudy situation (I was sooo confused before). Please continue what you're doing because it is greatly appreciated. Thank you so much.

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  7. Thank you Soror for this blog I helped me tremendously.

    The Narrator
    #14
    17 Attitudes of Fortitude
    SPR '10
    Athens Alumnae Chapter

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  8. Can you lend some advice on how you went about overcoming your shyness? I have a high GPA and have been volunteering since my freshman year in high school but I get so intimidated when it comes to approaching a member during their events, especially being at such a large university and many of the perspectives know one of the members personally and like you I have also been attending events alone. How did you get up the courage to get to know members before and afer you transfered?
    Thank you! Your blog is such an inspiration.

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  9. How is this information different if you want to pledge an Alumnae Chapter?

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  10. DableST1, your story is so encouraging. Thanks so much for sharing!

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  11. This is very real and i can feel your energy and excitement and respect that you hold DST in such high esteem. I thoroughly enjoyed you taking us on the journey with you. As a fellow Greek, i share the some of the same similarities of your walk into Greekdom.Take care and be blessed

    C.L
    Sigma Gamma Psi Christian Fraternity Inc.
    Lead Angel
    6 Degrees of Completion
    Fall O4
    Ace Klub

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  12. Hello!

    I've been following your blog for awhile now and I just wanted to say thank you for all the information that you've given me. I found your blog through the yahoo answers last year and I've been checking it often since then. I really appreciate you telling us about your journey because I too am a transfer student. When I first transfered I was nervous because it was like I was a freshmen again, I had to start all over. Seeing your story motivated me to really get involved on campus and to work hard to get myself out there. It is because of women like you that I hope to have the honor of joining your organization one day. You didn't have to answer those yahoo questions or create a blog to help prospective members like many of us, but you did and I just wanted you to know that I really appreciate that =]

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  13. Wow, it's interesting what Mid-Westerner's consider a neophyte. On the East coast, a neo is a new member of the organization. I can't believe you all had to wait one year purchasing gifts. Your definition of Neophyte is a celebration...one year after crossing. Wow! Neos have a presentation or step show a couple of weeks after initiation. The campus already knows who you are after one year. Isn't that a little disappointing? If there was a spring line, what about the people who would graduate in a May? Interesting though.

    Carlos M. P.
    Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity, Inc.
    Spring 09

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  14. Thank you,
    I am an aspiring member of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority Inc. I am confident that my packet will be outstanding, but I am differently-abled and can not walk. I know it seems shallow but do you think this will interfere with my chances of being selected as a candidate for MIP?

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  15. Stumbled across your blog looking for a gift for someone. Though the bio on the left sounded like someone I've never "met" before. Read more and said I "know" her.

    Glad to know that you are still happy with your sorority and choice. Be Blessed!

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  17. Reading your blog has inspired me so much more to want to be apart of your organization. I'm a transfer student as well, and I feel that it has been hard for me to join student organizations on campus due to the fact that I'm a commuter student. However, I do attend almost every event that the members of Delta Sigma Theta, Inc. have, but I am not active on campus. I heard that my school will indeed be having a spring line 2012 and I feel that I'm not doing enough. As far as my gpa and community service goes, I'm fine in that area, but I feel I'm not doing enough. I study the material that is made available to me, I haven't read the entire book of "In Search of Sisterhood" (it's not an easy read) but I'm trying to complete it. I know I havent been through anything just yet, but there are many times I've cried to the Lord beause I want this so bad, and I pray that I am choosen and become the first member of Delta Sigma Theta Inc. in my family. Besides what I am doing now, would you suggest I do anything else?

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  18. Attention: For those of you that have asked questions such as..."What else do you suggest" or "What else should I be doing"? I am happy to announce I just posted a new blog that focuses around the next steps! Happy Reading!

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  19. I am so happy you created this blog! I have been following you for 3 years since my soph yr in High School. Now that I am preparing for College I feel like I have the tools of what to do when the time comes for me to pledge a fraternity. I have read Divine Nine and it really taught me a lot about the different fraternities and I am grateful that you reccomended it. You have truly been a blessings to all of us especially myself since I am a first-generation going to College from the Projects. Thank you again Ms. Love!

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  20. I want to say thank you and God bless you for creating this blog. Me and a couple of my friends stumbled across your blog late one night while on yahooanswers over 3 yrs ago....We were all interested in pledging diffrent Greek Organizations. Personally I am grateful that you shared your journey with us. Two of my friends who read your blog with me are now Greek (KAPsi and AKA) and I am still on the journey of becoming Greek myself. I had my interview, and I am waiting patiently to recieve that phone call. I truly hope to share your experiences when I become Greek as well.

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  21. Thank you for sharing your story! Your blog as been so helpful! I recieved the famous phone call that you mentioned and currently I am going through MIP! I can't wait to call you "soror" when it's all said and done. Thank you Big Sister!!!

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  22. what is a spec ?

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  23. Hi I attend an undergraduate school in NY. I was told that in order for other organizations to stroll at parties they must obtain permission from the divine nine because they do no belong to the nphc. Is this true? As I have started a local organization in my community and will be bringing it onto my campus and some of my soros wanted know if we needed to obtain permission to stroll at the parties and to participate in the campus step shows.

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  24. Your story left me in tears. Thank you so much for such an informative blog. I am a rising Junior awaiting a rush. i found so much comfort in reading this.

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  25. I came across your blog late last night and spent 2 hours reading and re-reading every single post! Thank you so much! I am preparing for rush for next semester, and I you this blog is a blessing! So glad I came across it! Hopefully in a few months I can call you my sistergreek. (Going out for AKA)

    Thank you my sistah!

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  26. You have spoke my life now! I have'nt talked to my brothers(both KAPsi) or my cousin who's a Delta about joining a org, but I really connected with your story. Since 2008 I always wanted to become an member of Alpha Phi Alpha, Just like you,Im VERY VERY SHY. lol I have no connection to them & I cant find info on the chapter at my school Ill be attending(Clark Atlanta). Do you think its possible your husband can share his story? That would help me alot or any pointers.

    Thank you,
    TJ
    imtr15t4n@yahoo.com

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  27. I just want to say, "You are awesome in Christ." Words cannot express how your openness is soooooooooo refreshing and appreciated. I had no idea you had this blog. I use to just read your answers on Yahoo! Then I went to the blog....I am blown away by you. I thank God for your servant-leader's heart. You are a gem!

    Hope to be you Soror soon.

    Peace & Blessings!

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  28. Hi, I would like to email you a personal inquiry but I cannot access your email address from your "About Me" section. If its not too much, can you post it here? Please let me know :)

    Thanks so much!!

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  30. Greetings Soror. I love your story. Thank you for sharing. Sounds like we crossed during the same era (I remember the transition of those national presidents and the Chicago National Convention). Id love to join your private soror's social site.

    J. Wilkinson
    #10 Spr 95
    "School of Hard Knox"
    Theta Chi Chapter

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  31. Thank you for this blog I want to become a member of your org and I know Delta is for me. I attended a rush and I needed a 2.759 gpa, and I've had a bad 2 years of college but since the rush I have been working hard for my self and my aspiration to become a Delta. I've done tons of community service, mostly mentoring young girls.But I've seen that to become a Delta you have to exceed expectations and be a strong, confident woman. So I hope they see that in me at the next rush. Wish me luck and thanks again !

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  32. What is a Member at Large?

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  33. Hi, DableST1. Reading your blog, I felt so encouraged by all you have done to become a member of your illustrious organization. I am a college freshman, and I dream of nothing more than to become a member of your organization. Thanks to my mother who is a Delta, she helped me to see just how wonderful this sorority really is. I am still doing my own research and have also purchased "In Search of Sisterhood" as well as "The Divine Nine". I am like you were in terms of being too shy to talk to the members on campus. I always heard that you're not supposed to openly express your interest, so I just never bothered to say anything to them. I have only attended a few of the Delta activities on campus, but will definitely work on attending more. I read where you stated how you gained over 1,000 hours of community service. Could you give me some ideas as to what I can do for service hours? Do the hours from when I was in high school count? Being a freshman, I never saw many opportunities nor really had the time to do service projects. Also, would the fact that I was a member of the Dr. Betty Shabazz program as well as Delta GEMS likely increase my chances of standing out to the members? I just have so many questions and I'm glad to have found this blog. Thank you so much and I really hope to hear from you soon!

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  34. Greetings.

    After reading this, i must say that i am so moved by your story.
    My story was different regarding how i became a Zeta but despite adversities i faced, i never gave up.

    I truly enjoyed your story

    Signing out

    Motherlandz Phi-Nest
    Fall 2k11
    8 Club
    9 D.L.O.D
    Pi Zeta Chapter
    Zeta Phi Beta Sorority Inc.

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  35. I'll be a freshman in college this fall and I plan on pledging next year. I've been studying and researching since I was in high school. The only problem I have is not being able to remember all the founders...I was also planning on doing some community service too but being that i've never done any outside of church or high school, I don't know what kind of service I should do. could u give me some advice please and thank you:)

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  36. I want to thank you soooo much! This is like my life right now, this blog has just encouraged me to keep pushing. Thanks so much its soo inspiring

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  37. This is the BEST advice for people like me that is interested in greek life. I am so thankful you wrote this blog. Do you have a book? IF so I would buy it in a heartbeat. I came across your blog at 1am this morning and I read every single post. 2 hours later, you captured everything I need to know about greek Life. I hope to pledge next semester, and if accepted I have you to thank. THANK YOU!!!!!

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  38. Where would you suggest that I look for all the past lines names and numbers? Our chapter site no longer exists and I can not seem to find anything more recent than 2004.

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  39. Reading this made me shed tears! I wish more members of Greek Life were humble like you. I've only encountered the snobbish ones which made me not want to pledge a particular sorority anymore.

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  40. You helped me out so much and I truly appreciate every piece of advice you gave to me.

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  41. Dear DableST1 - WOW. I have goose bumps, tears, and so much joy in my heart for you! This is such a phenomenal story, and I want to thank you for sharing it. I cannot wait for the opportunity to attend a Rush; I hope the alumnae/grad chapter will have one this fall!

    God bless you and keep you!

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  42. Thank you so much for creating this blog. Reading about your journey has shown me that I have so much more preparation I need to do if I want to pledge in a Sorority. I am very excited and nervous at the same time. I am a officially a Junior in college now and I feel like I don't have much to show for it. I have maintained a high GPA but that is all. I have not went to any events. I've been a home body and I know I have to change that. At my school, it's hard to talk to the ladies in the Sorority I am interested in. I don't know what to say and how to ask the right questions. I have so many questions and not enough time it seems. How can I email you privately about my concern? That's if you don't mind. Again Thank you for your time and I really appreciate you writing this blog.

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  43. Can you talk more about pledge parents and their function??

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  44. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  45. I would like to ask a few questions, privately if possible. May I email you?

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  46. Thank you so much! Your blog has really inspired me on so many levels. I am also 14 and I have always dreamed about it. You have helped me to understand that it's so much more to being in this organization. Once again i appreciate you and thank you.

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  47. Hello. Thank you for your enlightening story. As a christian I am torn. Are the rituals as crazy as they are described to be. Do you believe that someone can not be truly christian an greek. I believe that as long as one keeps God first than thats all that matters, but others say the oaths and promises made are against the word of God.

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  48. Is there anyway I can contact you personally? I still have a few questions.

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  49. Janay Green
    Hello (: I am a high school senior in South Florida and I am so passionate about becoming a Delta. Reading your blog and the experience you had during the whole Rush process just gives me so much more hope in pledging. Growing up, I battled with low-self esteem and envied the life of other girls around me. It weakened my spirit by denying the value that others saw in me. Eventually through the help of my many mentors, I overcame such a burden and now I have a story to tell. Women empowerment is something I spread on a daily basis. Blasting my beauty and becoming a successful young lady in today's society is a goal that I push to accomplish. Doing my research and speaking to other Deltas in my surroundings, I realize that this organization is about it's business and mission to seek ways to better the community and emphasize the importance of being role models in today's world. Not only do you guys thrive in social affairs but set essential goals such as leadership, scholarship, and sisterhood. It amazes me on how much you guys give back to the community and just uplift everyone around you. I am very interested to know more about the process, the do's and don'ts, and everything else in between. I want to take my freshman year of college by storm so when the time comes, people will recognize me for all the right things: my poise, my leadership skills, my respectful nature, my unique personality, and my determination to be apart of a legacy.
    I would love to be in contact with you :)! My email is janay.mgreen@gmail.com

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  50. Thank you so much for posting this blog! I have wanted to be a delta since I was 14 as well. I was in Delta Academy, Delta G.E.M.S., and the Delta Sigma Theta Les Belles Pearles cotillion. I am currently a freshman. I have been researching this sorority all year. I have been attending events hosted by Deltas. I am also really shy. You have truly encouraged me to come out of my shell more in order to make my dream come true. I am nervous about the process because I attend a predominately white school and there are not really many people who become Deltas. I am interested in learning more about the process. I would love to be in contact with you. My email is bmotley14@mail.bw.edu.

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  52. Hello, I was wondering if it was ok to get a letter of recommendation from an active member who is the president of the grad chapter?? I know this Delta personally.

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    1. I would highly suggest that you ask that question when you attend Rush. They will give you all the information you need for membership.

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  53. You blog is EVERYTHANG! I came across your blog when I was a freshman in HS and I am now a sophomore in college. I bookmarked your website and would visit it quite often. Your journey in greek life was very inspirational. I am an introvert and very shy, so as I was reading your journey, it was like me reading my own journey. You gave me the confidence and courage to put myself out there and now they know who I am. Even invited me to some events. That would have never happened without me reading your blog, so thank you! Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I am now out of my shell, and it's all thanks to you. I am praying that the org I am interested in will have a rush this year. I will keep you updated on the outcome.

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  54. Growing up I've always wanted to be a Delta. My sister in law being a Delta only made this desire increase. I'm in college now and my school (a PWI) has finally offered all of the Divine Nine. I went to our Greek informational where they all got to speak to the masses. I walked into the informational decided on Delta completely, but the Deltas didn't offer that family vibe or welcoming spirit like I received from the other sororities. I walked away from the informational confused. I'm now torn between 3 sororities, Delta, AKA, and Zetas. I don't want to let those Deltas be the reason I walk away from being a delta altogether. I'm currently doing all the research possible on each sorority to help me make the decision on which is best for me. Is there any additional advice you could offer to someone in my position?

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  55. If you have to have at least 2 years of community service and you wanted to join Alpha Kappa Alpha as a freshman, can you include community service from high school?

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  56. I have been reading your blogs for a year now and they have really helped with my learning about Greek life. I do not have anyone to ask questions that i may have and this blog has really opened my eyes to the lifestyle. Your love for Delta Sigma Theta Sorority Incorporated has truly inspired me to become interested in joining Delta Sigma Theta Sorority Incorporated. I would like to know how to find a member to write a recommendation for me because I am not in contact with any woman who is active who can help me. Greek life is not a big deal in my family, but I know in my heart that serving my community is a passion of mine.May you please contact me at flnelson@aggies.ncat.edu . Thank You.

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    1. Are you able to attend the local chapter's events, so that you can get to know members gradually? Maybe this is one way that you could be a step closer to getting to know active members.

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  57. Hello! I'd like to become a member of an alumnae chapter in my community. The national headquarters website says that interested women should contact them. Should I contact headquarters first or the local chapter members first, as I continue to get to know them and attend their events that are open to the public? I don't know when it is the right time to contact headquarters.

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  58. Hello Mrs. Love.

    I really enjoy reading your posts. It has in many ways kept me grounded in my journey of seeking membership in Delta Sigma Theta. I am currently a pyramid and I have just completed Odyssey. Unfortunately, it has not been a pleasant experience for me. One of my line sisters is basically pledging "dirty" and has not shared information that is considered secret/untold info of DST with the line. This has in many ways resulted in a division within the line instead of sisterhood/unity. Even her spec has agreed that hazing is a must to make sure that we all know the information both known and unknown and are not an embarrassment to her and her chapter. My problem is that if the info are untold secrets, why are there so many devout DST members that don't know about these untold secrets? I have asked my DST mentors who range in active membership from 5-30+ years. When I asked them about the small amount info that I did know, they knew nothing about it. I guess my questions are:


    What should I do about/ handle this situation?

    Why are these untold secrets not known amongst all active members of DST?

    Is it not ok to make others aware or share these untold secrets with members of your line? If not, why?

    Are there untold secrets that I should know? If so, what is the best way to get the info?

    How can I work at establishing and preserving unity/sisterhood within my line?


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  59. Good Evening Soror,
    Thankyou for posting this informative story about your Greek experience.

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  60. Good Evening,
    Thank you for posting your Greek experience. God Bless Soror.

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  61. Good Evening Soror,
    Thankyou for posting this informative story about your Greek experience.

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  62. Thank you Soror for the enlightenment & encouragement ... Stay blessed
    Maia ..inspiring delta

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  63. I am so glad you posted this blog. Reading it has made me reflect on my childhood and the first time I considered becoming apart of DST. I am seeking membership at my school, but it's complicated because the chapter is just now returning from suspension this coming fall (I hope!) it's about to be my junior year and I really don't want to to pledge alumnae.. anyway, I haven't been able to communicate or even glance at any deltas at my school because there aren't any around. So in saying all of this I was wondering what I should do?

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  64. Its 2016 and times have probably changed. But I love how relevant this blog post is to my life right now! I'm currently is interested in being a Member of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority INC, but everyone around me that introduced me to Greek life wants me to be a Alpha Kappa Alpha. I'm afraid that I might be disappointing them, also they were going to assist me to pay my dues. I'm so terrified that my journey to becoming a Delta is going to be so difficult because my support system wants me to become a AKA. Any thoughts ?

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